Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.9

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 9
Since time immemorial, many people believed that having kids in the past never be a better option than to up bring them in the future life and they rated advantages of it to be more than the its disadvantages. However, there are both pros and cons to deciding to have this. In this essay, I will highlight some of its positive and some of the challenges that need to overcome. Let’s start by looking at the advantages of up bringing children in up coming era rather than in the past life. It is because, children are the future dependent to their parents, when they grow older. Considering things fact, once always want to have sons and daughters in the age when they will no longer remain physically and mentally stable. For instance, there are many examples of this sentiment truth and the most popular one is in the life of famous Microsoft office founder Bill Gates, who is no doubt one of the richest men ever born across the globe. He served most of his precious time for helping his parents when they got older. Furthermore, if you stand by with your parents in the circumstances when they need you the most, you will gain pile of virtues which ultimately lead to a bright future. Moving towards the negative side of this statement by considering having teenager kids at the time when you are spending a memorable life and you are not desperate of getting anything that you don’t have. I reckon, in this situation getting a new member in the family increase the expenditure of money and time and that is always not a good thing in once’s life. Moreover, we can find several examples in the history that people fall from the upper-class level to lower-class level just for the sake of doing too much expenditure for the up bringing of their newly born baby. In addition, people never feel pleasure when anybody come and reduce their profits in the form of even a child. To sum up, it has to say that having kids in the past is usually created trouble in that is loss of precious time for making their future bright and also the significant money that never get back while to have them in future will lead to the most needy life for parents as they usually not able to spend life with their own due to loss of strength. I personally believe that the pros in the form of old life partner outweigh all its negatives.
Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
immemorial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believed that having kids in the past never be a better option than to up bring them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they rated advantages of it to be more than
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "its disadvantages" or "the disadvantages"?
the its disadvantages
.
However
, there are both pros and cons to deciding to have this. In this essay, I will highlight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
challenges that need to overcome.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
by looking at the advantages of up bringing children in up coming era
rather
than in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, children are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
dependent to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, when they grow older. Considering things fact, once always want to have sons and daughters in the age when they will no longer remain
physically
and mentally stable.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples of this sentiment truth and the most popular one is in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Did you mean the proper noun "Microsoft Office" (= Microsoft product)?
Microsoft office
founder Bill Gates, who is no doubt one of the richest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
ever born across the globe. He served most of his precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for helping his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
older.
Furthermore
, if you stand by with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the circumstances when they need you the most, you will gain pile of virtues which
ultimately
lead to a bright future.

Moving towards the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of this statement by considering having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
kids at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when you are spending a memorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and you are not desperate of getting anything that you don’t have. I reckon, in this situation getting a new member in the family increase the expenditure of money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
that is
always not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing in once’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, we can find several examples in the history that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fall from the upper-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
level to lower-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the sake of doing too much expenditure for the up bringing of their
newly
born baby.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
never feel pleasure when anybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their profits in the form of even a child.

To sum up, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
say that having kids in the past is
usually
created trouble in
that is
loss of precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for making their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
bright and
also
the significant money that never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back while to have them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will lead to the most needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as they
usually
not able to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
due to loss of strength. I
personally
believe that the pros in the form of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
partner outweigh all its negatives.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
423 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts