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More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v.2

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v. 2
Children are the blessings of God, having a child can make your life happier. Planning a child at an early age or a later age is a debatable topic. In this essay we will argue that going for kids at a later age is good or bad. In past it was common to become parents at an early age of 20's but now people are getting married at the age of 30's. Previously, people got married at a young age and soon they planned for the next generation. So, at the age of 25-26 they were done with family planning and they have sufficient time to take care their offspring before getting retired. There was a lessor age difference between the two generations. The most important thing at the early age, there are fewer chances of complications in pregnancy, so good for infants as well as mothers. Although there are many benefits of having kids at early age still now a day’s priority has been changed and people are more focusing on career, marriage and kids have become their secondary preference. There are some benefits of it, that is more understanding between the partners, mentally prepared for marriage and child and successful career. With all these advantages, there are some disadvantages like health issues, not able to fulfil all liabilities of a kid before retirement and more age gap. All in all planning, family is a choice of the individual, but I completely support the idea to plan for babies at a later age as it gives you proper time to plan and understand your partner. Now a days many medical technology are there to help. So, I believe things give better results if planned in a proper way.
Children are the blessings of God, having a child can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your life happier. Planning a child at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
or a later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is a debatable topic. In this essay we will argue that going for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at a later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.

In past it was common to become parents at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "20s".
20's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are getting married at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "30s".
30's
. Previously,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married at a young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
they planned for the
next
generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 25-26 they
were done
with family
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
planning and
they have sufficient time to take care their offspring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting retired. There was a lessor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
difference between the two generations. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, there are fewer chances of complications in pregnancy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for infants
as well
as mothers.

Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a day’s priority has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more focusing on career, marriage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
have become their secondary preference. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of it,
that is
more understanding between the partners, mentally prepared for marriage and child and successful career. With all these advantages, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages like health issues, not able to fulfil all liabilities of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
retirement and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
gap.

All in all planning, family is a choice of the individual,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I completely support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to plan for babies at a later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
as it gives you proper time to plan and understand your partner.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
medical technology are there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I believe things give better results if planned
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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