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The government should make people take responsibility for their actions to the environment. To what extent do you agree. v.1

The government should make people take responsibility for their actions to the environment. v. 1
Environmental pollution has been increasing at an alarming rate and if it continues to happen in this way the future consequences would be insidious deadily. Some people argue that government should motivate people to be accountable for their deeds and actions to their environment. I am not agreeing to this viewpoint as the government and individuals plays a complimentary role in the protection of environment from deterimental effects. To begin, government should abdandon the import and export of materials, which are harmful to the environment. For instance, the plastic in any forms drinking bottles, containers are dangerous as it is a biodegradable waste, which refills our land fill sites and aids in many negative impacts to marine and land life. Therefore, if the government bann the use of plastic and should impose stringent punishments for violators of these law, can be alleviate the environmental problems associated with it. Furthermore, the government is gradually allowing the manufacturers and producers to sell their products in plastic coated materials, it would definitely bought by customer. Hence, it is not justifiable to say that public is answerable for the damage of the environment. On the other hand, individuals can contribute in enormous ways to save and preserve environment and it's resources. For example, the dramatic increase in the number of private vehicles with the emission of CO2 from it is one of the major factor attributes to air pollution. So. if the individuals take a strong decision to render cars for short distances, instead of that utilise public transport, the air pollution and traffic congestion can be curtail to a greater extent. Moreover, people can refuse to accept groceries in plastic bags and can carry tote bags whenever they go for shopping. Therefore, public is also liable for the negative impacts on our environment. In conclusion, the government and individuals should adopt a benevolent attitude in safeguarding our environment. Both should realise the necessity to adopt eco-friendly measure inorder to secure our environment for the future generation to have a healthy life.
Environmental pollution has been increasing at an alarming rate and if it continues to happen in this way the future consequences would be insidious
Possible spelling mistake found.
deadily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should motivate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be accountable for their deeds and actions to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. I
The verb 'agreeing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
am not agreeing
to this viewpoint as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
plays a complimentary role in the protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
deterimental
effects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
abdandon
the import and export of materials, which are harmful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
in any forms drinking bottles, containers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as it is a biodegradable waste, which refills our land fill sites and aids in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts to marine and land life.
Therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
bann
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
and should impose stringent punishments for violators of
Did you mean "this law" or "these laws"?
these law
, can be
Consider using the past participle "alleviated"?
alleviate
the environmental problems associated with it.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
gradually
allowing the manufacturers and producers to sell their products in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
coated materials, it would definitely
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "buy"
bought
by customer.
Hence
, it is not justifiable to say that public is answerable for the
The usual collocation for word "damage" is "to" not "of." Revise: "damage to".
damage of
the environment.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can contribute in enormous ways to save and preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and it's resources.
For example
, the dramatic increase in the number of private vehicles with the emission of CO2 from it is one of the major factor attributes to air pollution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
. if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
take a strong decision to render cars for short distances,
instead
of that
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
public transport, the air pollution and traffic congestion can be
Consider using the past participle "curtailed"?
curtail
to a greater extent.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can refuse to accept groceries in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
bags and can carry tote bags whenever they go for shopping.
Therefore
, public is
also
liable for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on our environment.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should adopt a benevolent attitude in safeguarding our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Both should
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the necessity to adopt eco-friendly measure
Possible spelling mistake found.
inorder
to secure our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for the future generation to have a healthy life.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should make people take responsibility for their actions to the environment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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