Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks? v.1

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks? v. 1
It is true that video surveillance has become commonplace in many cities in recent years. While I understand that critics may see this as an invasion of privacy, I believe that the benefits do outweigh the drawbacks. There are two main reasons why people might disapprove of the use of video cameras in public places. The first objection is that these cameras invade our privacy, in the sense that we are constantly being watched by the authorities or by private security firms. Many people find this intrusive and feel that the recording of their movements is a form of state control that curtails their individual freedom. The second argument against the proliferation of CCTV cameras is that they are being used as an alternative to police officers patrolling the streets. If this is indeed happening, then it is unlikely that members of the public will feel safer. In spite of the drawbacks mentioned above, I believe that the use of video cameras to monitor public areas is a positive measure. The key objective of video surveillance is to deter criminals and to prevent crime. For example, petty criminals like shoplifters and pickpockets are less likely to operate in parts of cities where they know that they are being watched. At the same time, when crimes are committed, the police can use video evidence to catch and prosecute offenders. Therefore, in my view, video cameras offer valuable support to police officers, and they make cities safer for inhabitants, workers and visitors alike. In conclusion, it seems to me that we gain more than we lose from the enhanced security that CCTV cameras bring to our cities.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
surveillance has become commonplace in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in recent years. While I understand that critics may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this as an invasion of privacy, I believe that the benefits do outweigh the drawbacks.

There are two main reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might disapprove of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
in public places. The
first
objection is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
invade our privacy, in the sense that we are
constantly
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by the authorities or by private security firms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find this intrusive and feel that the recording of their movements is a form of state control that curtails their individual freedom. The second argument against the proliferation of CCTV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
is that they are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as an alternative to police officers patrolling the streets. If this is
indeed
happening, then it is unlikely that members of the public will feel safer.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the drawbacks mentioned above, I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
to monitor public areas is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
measure. The key objective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
surveillance is to deter criminals and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
crime.
For example
, petty criminals like shoplifters and pickpockets are less likely to operate in parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where they know that they are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
. At the same time, when crimes
are committed
, the police can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
evidence to catch and prosecute offenders.
Therefore
, in my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
offer valuable support to police officers, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
safer for inhabitants, workers and visitors

alike.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that we gain more than we lose from the enhanced security that CCTV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
bring to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts