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Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.4

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 4
Nowadays, it is a common aspiration that people prefer to start their own business rather than work for a company or an organization. Personally speaking, I would say this tendency has both benefits and drawbacks, but I believe the advantages of running a company outweigh the disadvantages. The biggest motivator for people to become entrepreneurs is the fact that it can fulfil their feelings of accomplishment and pride. They can become their own boss, work independently, not being stricted by any rules. It allows people to do what they like, follow their passion without having to ask for permission. For instance, a restaurant owner can take the decision to renew the menu or choose the employees. In comparison, most of the employees working in a company do not have much say in the functioning, they have to what they are told to do. Another advantage of owning is a business is that owners can have the opportunity to earn unlimited income based on their own effort. In other words, people can earn more by running a successful business. There are many outstanding entrepreneurs such as Bill Gates, Donald Trump or Steve Jobs. Admittedly, there are some minor disadvantages to owning a business. People have to face up with many financial risks such as bad debt, foreign exchange fluctuation and bankruptcy when they can’t attract customers. If they work for a company, they may have medical allowances, and retirement pensions. But if they decide to start their own, they will have to pay for their employees. Moreover, an owner always shoulders the heaviest responsibility. To be more precise, he has to do multi tasks, from business planning, staff managing to accounting or even marketing, which can lead to stress and health suffers. And it may go worse if he makes bad decisions. In short, a business can be a burden if it is not managed and monitored properly. In conclusion, while there are minor disadvantages to running a business, I believe the benefits are greater than the problems associated with it. In fact, the potential problems can be solved by taking appropriate measures and monitoring progress.
Nowadays, it is a common aspiration that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
rather
than work for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or an organization.
Personally
speaking, I would say this tendency has both benefits and drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe the advantages of running a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
outweigh the disadvantages.

The biggest motivator for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become entrepreneurs is the fact that it can fulfil their feelings of accomplishment and pride. They can become their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
boss, work
independently
, not being
Possible spelling mistake found.
stricted
by any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do what they like, follow their passion without having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
permission.
For instance
, a restaurant owner can take the decision to renew the menu or choose the employees.
In comparison
, most of the employees working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
do not have much say in the functioning, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
what they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
to do. Another advantage of owning is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is that owners can have the opportunity to earn unlimited income based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
effort.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can earn more by running a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
outstanding entrepreneurs such as Bill Gates, Donald Trump or Steve Jobs.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor disadvantages to owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
debt, foreign exchange fluctuation and bankruptcy when they can’t attract customers. If they work for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, they may have medical allowances, and retirement pensions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if they decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for their employees.
Moreover
, an owner always shoulders the heaviest responsibility. To be more precise, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do multi tasks, from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
planning, staff managing to accounting or even marketing, which can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and health suffers. And it may go worse if he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
decisions. In short, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can be a burden if it is not managed and monitored
properly
.

In conclusion
, while there are minor disadvantages to running a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, I believe the benefits are greater than the problems associated with it.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
fact, the potential problems can
be solved
by taking appropriate measures and monitoring progress.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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