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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v.22

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 22
The crowded cities nowadays are in demand for new residential areas but because of the shortage in space, houses need to be built in the countryside. A certain group of people opines that this could pose damage to the countryside environment. I believe construction in an environment-friendly way will be beneficial. To begin with, the ever-expanding population has ceased the availability of land in cities and other metropolitan areas. The only available option is to migrate the residence to less populated available land, that is in the countryside. This phenomenon of migration will help to decrease the burden from the cities and also will boon the countryside economically. For instance, I myself travel almost an hour to reach my workplace as I am staying in the countryside. On the other hand, it is true that the equilibrium in the village side may be disrupted because of the influx of foreign cultures and methodologies. But it could be kept constant by various steps taken by the government to preserve the naturality of the area. To cite an example, the place where I reside has a strict law not to damage the gardens and playgrounds. Additionally, the construction plan is fixed for all buildings with a central park which is planted with a variety of flora helping to control pollution. To conclude, the new construction plans for living in the countryside is quite a good option but preservation of the local environmental issues should be kept in mind before such a migration.
The crowded cities nowadays are in demand for new residential areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the shortage in space,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
need to
be built
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. A certain group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opines that this could pose damage to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
environment. I believe construction in an environment-friendly way will be beneficial.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the ever-expanding population has ceased the availability of land in cities and other metropolitan areas. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available option is to migrate the residence to less populated available land,
that is
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. This phenomenon of migration will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to decrease the burden from the cities and
also
will boon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
economically
.
For instance
, I myself travel almost an hour to reach my workplace as I am staying in the countryside.

On the other hand
, it is true that the equilibrium in the village side may
be disrupted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the influx of foreign cultures and methodologies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
constant by various steps taken by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to preserve the
Possible spelling mistake found.
naturality
of the area. To cite an example, the place where I reside has a strict law not to damage the gardens and playgrounds.
Additionally
, the construction plan is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
for all buildings with a
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
central park
which
is planted
with a variety of flora helping to control pollution.

To conclude
, the new construction plans for living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is quite a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
preservation of the local environmental issues should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
such a migration.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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