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Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v. 6
One of the most controversial issues today relates to major reasons for incomes countries is tourism, although, it is cons most not be ignore. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the benefits of other sides of the world have many cultures. Such as, tourism, for this factor, we have much of the cultures in kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that when our country supporting this issue, we have bulk economic. For instance, the investment of countries is increasing in vacation. It is also possible to say that this idea is motivate the administrations to develop all sectors. For example, tourism major will improve services as special. One good illustration of this is as when someone transfer to another country, he will collect money for this trip. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that in fact one of the most cons is the incorporation of cultures. Like, Saudi culture has many inequalities of Chinese culture. People often have this opinion because when countries not be ready for supporting this side, the economic will have been decreased. As an example, for that Indonesia not has sufficient revenue for development all tourism places. A second point is that supporting tourism administer needed too much income for creating many resorts. For instance, Half- Moon resort in Japan country. A particularly good example here is many countries of the world not have attractive places for visitors and residents. To sum up, as we have seen, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance, however, I tend to believe that perfection tourist’s places are the first caution attracting approximately to attracting visitors and countries economies become dramatically distinct.
One of the most controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to major reasons for incomes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, although, it is cons most not be
Consider using a past participle here: "ignored".
ignore
. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
view


On one side of the argument there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that the benefits of other sides of the world have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, for this factor, we have much of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
in kingdom of Saudi Arabia.
Considerably
outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that when our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
supporting this issue, we have bulk economic.
For instance
, the investment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is increasing in vacation. It is
also
possible to say that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is
Consider using a past participle here: "motivated".
motivate
the administrations to develop all sectors.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
major will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
services as special.

One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is as when someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "transfers", "transferred".
transfer
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, he will collect money for this trip.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in fact one of the most cons is the incorporation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Like, Saudi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
inequalities of Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
not be ready for supporting this side, the economic will have
been decreased
. As an example, for that Indonesia not has sufficient revenue for development all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
places. A second point is that supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
administer needed too much income for creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resorts.
For instance
, Half- Moon resort in Japan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of the world not have attractive places for visitors and residents.

To sum up, as we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that perfection tourist’s places are the
first
caution attracting approximately to attracting visitors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
economies become
dramatically
distinct.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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