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Some people consider thinking about and planning for the future to be a waste of time. They argue that people should simply live in the moment. Do you agree or disagree? Use at least one personal example in your response. v.1

Some people consider thinking about and planning for the future to be a waste of time. They argue that people should simply live in the moment. Use at least one personal example in your response. v. 1
There is a belief that to be present-oriented is better than making plans for tomorrow, which is thought to be a meaningless way to spend the time. I partially agree with this statement, believing that both focusing on the present moment and planning for the future are equally important in our lives. To begin with, creating a plan helps us to reach our goals and fulfil our dreams. Furthermore, having a clear vision of the future life together with effective guidelines enable people to become successful in the path they choose. For example, Steve Jobs, a prominent salesman and leader, had a habit to plan several years ahead. Even though not all these plans might have been achieved, a greater percentage of them were put into practice and brought success to him and the company he worked with. On the other hand, thoughts about the future might make people feel anxious and stressed, especially if the future goes against the created scenario. Concentrating on the present moment might, otherwise, help to release the tension. Let me illustrate my view by a personal example. During my journey to Europe, I took a wrong train and did not reach my destination on time. That obstacle required me to focus on the positive sides and think of my current resources and opportunities. Miraculously, I found some thoughtful and caring people in the same compartment with me, who helped me to figure out the best solution out of my predicament. To sum it up, it is very important to build steps towards our future success by planning effectively. At the same time, tomorrow is unpredictable and there is no guarantee that life will go in accordance with our plans. That is why, we should not forget about the gift of the present moment, that is new opportunities and more peaceful state of mind.
There is a belief that to be present-oriented is better than making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
for tomorrow, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be a meaningless way to spend the time. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, believing that both focusing on the present moment and planning for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to reach our goals and fulfil our dreams.
Furthermore
, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
vision of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
life together with effective guidelines enable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to become successful in the path they choose.
For example
, Steve Jobs, a prominent salesman and leader, had a habit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
several years ahead.
Even though
not all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
might have
been achieved
, a greater percentage of them
were put
into practice and brought success to him and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
he worked with.

On the other hand
, thoughts about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel anxious and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
,
especially
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
goes against the created scenario. Concentrating on the present moment might,
otherwise
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to release the tension.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me illustrate my view by a personal example. During my journey to Europe, I took a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
train and did not reach my destination on time. That obstacle required me to focus on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
resources and opportunities.
Miraculously
, I found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
thoughtful and caring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the same compartment with me, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to figure out the best solution out of my predicament.

To sum it up, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to build steps towards our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
success by planning
effectively
. At the same time, tomorrow is unpredictable and there is no guarantee that life will go in accordance with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
.
That is
why, we should not forget about the gift of the present moment,
that is
new opportunities and more peaceful state of mind.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people consider thinking about and planning for the future to be a waste of time. They argue that people should simply live in the moment. Use at least one personal example in your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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