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Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world. However, people are being encouraged to use alternative energy sources such as wind energy, solar energy and so on. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.6

Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world. However, people are being encouraged to use alternative energy sources such as wind energy, solar energy and so on. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 6
In the eon of globalisation, population of the earth is being educated and adaptive to use cleaner energy sources, instead of consuming the rest of fossil fuels. I am of the strong opinion that the current trend is a definitely beneficial for mankind and its upcoming generations. To commence with the benefits, I believe that there are numerous advantages of this shift from the conventional resources, in comparison to new options. Firstly, it would help to lessen the carbon footprint by reducing the percentage of greenhouse gases like carbon dioxide or carbon monoxide etcetera in the environment. In a recent study it was observed that pollution level in Delhi the capital of India has declined up to ten percent during a six day lockdown at the time when an epidemic named novel corona virus hit the city as all commercial activity was shut down for such period. Hence, it is evident that adopting the new concepts of energy creation, may support us to achieve the goal of healthy earth. Nevertheless, homo sapiens would not only gift themselves a green planet, along with that turning to new sources may make the transportation more cheap and non polluting. It is claimed in a study that twenty percent of pollution is created by the transportation. Admittedly, many big technology giants like Tesla has launched electronic cars, which are efficient and fast means of travelling with zero emissions and less maintenance and has nominal running cost. It could be concluded finally that not only adapt to new sources over the conventional fossil fuel not only will help us attain an ideal environment free from pollutants and thus save the earth, but it will also cut short the expenses of travelling for us all.
In the eon of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, population of the earth is
being educated
and adaptive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cleaner energy sources,
instead
of consuming the rest of fossil fuels. I am of the strong opinion that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend is a definitely beneficial for mankind and its upcoming generations.

To commence with the benefits, I believe that there are numerous advantages of this shift from the conventional resources,
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
options.
Firstly
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to lessen the carbon footprint by reducing the percentage of greenhouse gases like carbon dioxide or carbon monoxide etcetera in the environment. In a recent study it
was observed
that pollution level in Delhi the capital of India has declined up to ten percent during a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "six-day"
six day
lockdown at the time when an epidemic named novel
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
hit the city as all commercial activity
was shut
down for such period.
Hence
, it is evident that adopting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
concepts of energy creation, may support us to achieve the goal of healthy earth.

Nevertheless
, homo sapiens would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gift themselves a green planet, along with that turning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sources may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the transportation more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
non polluting
. It
is claimed
in a study that twenty percent of pollution
is created
by the transportation.
Admittedly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
technology giants like Tesla has launched electronic cars, which are efficient and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
means of travelling with zero emissions and less maintenance and has nominal running cost.

It could
be concluded
finally
that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
adapt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sources over the conventional fossil fuel not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us attain an ideal environment free from pollutants and
thus
save the earth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
short the expenses of travelling for us all.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world. However, people are being encouraged to use alternative energy sources such as wind energy, solar energy and so on. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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