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Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potential. How could computers be considered a hindrance or a potential for the human? v.6

Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potential. How could computers be considered a hindrance or a potential for the human? v. 6
The computer is a basic necessity in our day to day life. It provides a tremendous help in almost all areas such as banking, IT, hospitals, sales etc. We are in the 17th year of the 21st century and blessed with high-end automated machinery which actually has increased human potential, and at the same time, it has given negative impact too. People are habituated of computers which have made them lazy, less flexible. They get tired easily while doing physical work, because of less stamina in their bodies and they are prone to attract many diseases. For an example backache, knee-ache because of sitting posture, poor writing skills, less manual skills in daily life etc. are the results of our dependency on computers. Moreover, because of this machinery, they have stopped socialising, communicating and networking with others. Those who have an addiction of using computers in their leisure time hardly spend time with family, friends. It hinders the proper growth of kids, instead of outdoor activity kids prefer to use video games, paper-pen has been replaced by word-pad and notepad, but some or other way we are compromising with are health by using this. Therefore, I truly agree that computers have provided such a comfortable and easy life to us, but if it’s on the cost of health issues, it’s not at all acceptable. This strategy is a serious threat to the human being and put us in the dark. We should always remember health is wealth and should be able to manage a healthy work culture.
The computer is a basic necessity in our
day to day
life. It provides a tremendous
help
in almost all areas such as banking, IT, hospitals, sales etc. We are in the 17th year of the 21st century and blessed with high-
end
automated machinery which actually has increased human potential, and at the same time, it has
given
negative
impact too.

People
are habituated
of computers which have made them lazy, less flexible. They
get
tired
easily
while doing physical work,
because
of less stamina in their
bodies and
they are prone to attract
many
diseases. For an example backache, knee-ache
because
of sitting posture, poor writing
skills
, less manual
skills
in daily life etc. are the results of our dependency on computers.

Moreover
,
because of this
machinery, they have
stopped
socialising
, communicating and networking with others. Those who have an addiction of using computers in their leisure time hardly spend time with family, friends. It hinders the proper growth of kids,
instead
of outdoor activity kids prefer to
use
video games, paper-pen has
been replaced
by word-pad and notepad,
but
some
or other way we are compromising with are health by using this.

Therefore
, I
truly
agree
that computers have provided such a comfortable and easy life to us,
but
if it’s on the cost of health issues, it’s not at all acceptable. This strategy is a serious threat to the human being and put us in the dark. We should always remember health is wealth and should be able to manage a healthy work culture.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potential. How could computers be considered a hindrance or a potential for the human? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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