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Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potential. How could computers be considered a hindrance? Use specific reason and example to explain to your answers. v.2

Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potential. How could computers be considered a hindrance? Use specific reason and example to explain to your answers. v. 2
It's true that walking has a number of positive effects on a person’s health; the amount of people taking a walk is decreasing day by day. In this essay, I am going to consider why it is happening and what measures can be taken in order to encourage the public to walk more. The main reason of reducing of a walking habit among citizens is that modern people are living in a high-speed society where everyone trying to accomplish a great deal of goals. As a result, a lot of individuals are living in a state of rush and completely neglect their health. In addition, nowadays vehicles have become much cheaper in a contrast with previous decades and a huge amount of people own cars or motorcycles and consider more convenient to move by car rather than on foot. For instance, when my brother had bought a car, he started to use it even in a short distance, such as a convenient store two blocks from our house. Nevertheless, the authorities may address this issue by implementing high transport taxes for those who is using automobiles inside a city. Thus, it would be more advantageous to walk than use a transport. As well as this, social media should promote walking and other physical exercises explaining to the general public how they are beneficial for human health especially in terms of combating obesity and cardiovascular diseases. To illustrate, as it is known, today, a great number of people have got medical conditions related to overweight, but they are not aware that 20 minutes’ walk per day may significantly improve their state of health. Thus, it would be helpful to enlighten them through mass media and press. In conclusion, lack of walking among habitats of a country is caused by a fast pace of the modern society and absence of necessity to walk due to a boost in the vehicle production industry. Meanwhile, this trend can be reduced by promotion of health benefits from such a simple thing as brisk walking.
It's true that walking has a number of
positive
effects on a person’s
health
; the amount of
people
taking a
walk
is decreasing day by day. In this essay, I am going to consider why it is happening and what measures can
be taken
in order to encourage the public to
walk
more.

The main reason of reducing of a walking habit among citizens is that modern
people
are living in a high-speed society where everyone trying to accomplish a great deal of goals.
As a result
,
a lot of
individuals are living in a state of rush and completely neglect their
health
.
In addition
, nowadays vehicles have become much cheaper in a contrast with previous decades and a huge amount of
people
own
cars or motorcycles and consider more convenient to
move
by car
rather
than on foot.
For instance
, when my brother had
bought
a car, he
started
to
use
it even in a short distance, such as a convenient store two blocks from our
house
.

Nevertheless
, the authorities may address this issue by implementing high transport taxes for those who is using automobiles inside a city.
Thus
, it would be more advantageous to
walk
than
use
a transport
.
As well
as this, social media should promote walking and other physical exercises explaining to the
general public
how they are beneficial for human
health
especially
in terms of combating obesity and cardiovascular diseases. To illustrate, as it
is known
,
today
, a great number of
people
have
got
medical conditions related to overweight,
but
they are not aware that 20 minutes’
walk
per day may
significantly
improve
their state of
health
.
Thus
, it would be helpful to enlighten them through mass media and press.

In conclusion
, lack of walking among habitats of a country
is caused
by a
fast
pace of the modern society and absence of necessity to
walk
due to a boost in the vehicle production industry. Meanwhile, this trend can be
reduced
by promotion of
health
benefits from such a simple thing as brisk walking.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people consider computers to be more of a hindrance than a help. Others believe that they have greatly increased human potential. How could computers be considered a hindrance? Use specific reason and example to explain to your answers. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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