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Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse Critics say that these countries should change their diet What are your opinions on this v.1

Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse Critics say that these countries should change their diet What are your opinions on this v. 1
Health care is one of the most important problems that arouses many people considerations and concerns. It is believed that in several Western countries, people are eating unhealthily with junk foods, overusing alcoholic drinks or pre-packed food, etc and critics advice that they should alter their diet. As far as I am concerned, I have a strong opinion on the fact that these countries should develop healthier habits rather than harmful ones. It cannot be denied that the numbers of obesities patients have increased dramatically in recent years and most patients are children or young adults. This is the consequence of overusing junk food and soft drinks like fried chicken, pizza or coke. They usually avoid eating healthy food such as fruits or green vegetables which provide a wide range of nutrients and fibers. Moreover, not merely does these food leads to obesities, but also they could increase the likelihood of suffering from heart diseases, stroke, diabetes as well. Due to the fact that, the transfat including in several fast foods could lead to the growth of the amount of bad cholesterol in our blood. Besides junk foods, Western countries are also well-known for their pre-packed and canned food consumptions. Nutritionists believe that processed food not only don' t have any nutrients but also contains a lot of bad chemical substances such as preservatives or food colorings. Consuming these substances will increase the risk of suffering from several types of cancers, for example, digestive system cancers. In the light of these facts, I believe that it is time for Western countries changing their eating habit and preventing these negative consequences by increasing the number of healthy food such as green vegetables and fruits in their daily meals.
Health care is one of the most
important
problems that arouses
many
people
considerations and concerns. It
is believed
that in several Western
countries
,
people
are eating
unhealthily
with junk
foods
, overusing alcoholic drinks or
pre-packed
food
, etc and critics advice that they should alter their diet. As far as I
am concerned
, I have a strong opinion on the fact that these
countries
should develop healthier habits
rather
than harmful ones.

It cannot
be denied
that the numbers of
obesities
patients have increased
dramatically
in recent years and most patients are children or young adults. This is the consequence of overusing junk
food
and soft drinks like fried chicken, pizza or coke. They
usually
avoid eating healthy
food
such as fruits or green vegetables which provide a wide range of nutrients and fibers.
Moreover
, not
merely
does these
food
leads
to
obesities
,
but
also
they could increase the likelihood of suffering from heart diseases, stroke, diabetes
as well
. Due to the fact that, the
transfat
including in several
fast
foods
could lead to the growth of the amount of
bad
cholesterol in our blood.

Besides
junk
foods
, Western
countries
are
also
well-known for their
pre-packed
and canned
food
consumptions
. Nutritionists believe that processed
food
not
only
don&
#039; t have any nutrients
but
also
contains
a lot of
bad
chemical substances such as preservatives or
food
colorings
. Consuming these substances will increase the
risk
of suffering from several types of cancers,
for example
, digestive system cancers.

In the light of these facts, I believe that it is time for Western
countries
changing their eating habit and preventing these
negative
consequences by
increasing the number of healthy
food
such as green vegetables and fruits in their daily meals.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse Critics say that these countries should change their diet What are your opinions on this v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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