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In Britain when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them Sometimes the government has to pay for this care Who do you think should pay for this care the government or the family Give v.43

In Britain when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them Sometimes the government has to pay for this care Who do you think should pay for this care the government or the family Give v. 43
Providing health care for elderly people has been an ongoing project in different countries. In some countries, such as Britain, there are facilities with medical staff provided for old people who are unable to take care of themselves. The cost of this care sometimes is within the responsibilities of the government, and sometimes the family is obligated to pay in order to benefit from the care. I believe the government’s role, in this case, must be more prominent. To begin with, elderly people were used to be part of the society that were beneficial for their communities. They have put their effort and youth working for different corporates within various areas. By providing a suitable environment for this group, the government would cherish their efforts and prevent them from the feeling of being a burden on the shoulders of the rest of society. On the other hand, some might believe that because these people have previously given birth to their children, taken care of their own family, and supported them financially until they grow up and stand on their own feet, now it is within their children’s responsibility to pay off their endless efforts and show their gratitude. However, there are lots of cases that once the parents get older and become unable to be financially independent, they become abandoned by their own children. Knowing that this kind of health care is available by the government’s support is relieving for senior citizens in order to spend the rest of their life happily and stress-free. In conclusion, even though it is the moral duty of the families to take care of the elderly people once they need help, the support of this group by the government must be an obligation to each country’s health law.
Providing health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
been an ongoing project in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, such as Britain, there are facilities with medical staff provided for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are unable to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of themselves. The cost of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
The adverb 'sometimes' usually goes after the verb 'is'.
sometimes is
within the responsibilities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the family
is obligated
to pay in order to benefit from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
role,
in this case
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be more prominent.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be part of the society that were beneficial for their communities. They have put their effort and youth working for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
within various areas. By providing a suitable environment for this group, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would cherish their efforts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from the feeling of being a burden on the shoulders of the rest of society.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have previously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
birth to their children, taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family, and supported them
financially
until they grow up and stand on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
feet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is within their children’s responsibility to pay off their endless efforts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their gratitude.
However
, there are lots of cases that once the parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older and become unable to be
financially
independent, they become abandoned by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
children. Knowing that this kind of health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is available by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
support is relieving for senior citizens in order to spend the rest of their life
happily
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free.

In conclusion
,
even though
it is the moral duty of the families to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
once they need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, the support of this group by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be an obligation to each country’s health law.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay In Britain when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them Sometimes the government has to pay for this care Who do you think should pay for this care the government or the family Give v. 43

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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