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do you agree or disagree? People who develop many different skills are more successful than people just focus on only one skill. v.160

People who develop many different skills are more successful than people just focus on only one skill. v. 160
The question is whether people with having different skills are more prosperous than those who concentrate on one skill. Everyone with regard to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this issue, some may say that it depends on a person' s ability how to apply his skill in every field; however, I am inclined to express that in such a technology- driven world, having a broad scope from knowledge can lead us to succeed. I feel this way in some reasons, which I will explore them in following essay for empowering my claim: To begin with, nobody could overlook this fact that such a modern world, that we live, requires a powerful and intense competition among human beings; hence, there is a compulsory force for acquiring diverse crafts. On the other hand, the inherent nature of humanistic is eager to obtain the success, so for many years people are attempting to find some approaches to dominate on other nations or communities. It goes without saying that learning different skills can assist us to gain this triumph in among of our friends or that same age people with us. One should not forget that being up-dated is able to motivate people for taking risk in any field; consequently, the sequence of this event can affect the personality of people. When you are saturated with a large number of skills; therefore, your self-esteem and the power of independence will be raised up. Finally with such a confidence, they can become to entrepreneurs of the societies. The second reason why I concur with being skillful in every field lies the reality that since the population has increased in recent years and the young generation search for finding job, there is a trouble with lack of appropriate jobs. If we expect to have an enjoyable work with well-paid money, it is vital to improve our skills. Moreover, nowadays the companies prefer to hire people with interdisciplinary knowledge. To elucidate, take my own experience. I remember, an opportunity was created by archaeology faculty for all students to participate in an excavation project. The majority of overwhelming of students was reluctant because it required hard working. My main major was software engineering but I volunteered for this task. My soul was curious about exploring new points. Needless to say that it could bring me a huge mass of skills about how I could excavate in a site or how to behave with a new discovered material from underground. One year after that an international archaeology seminar took place in my university. In short, I had a chance to collaborate with a prominent professor in surveying the climate of middle east in 100000 years ago with writing a code program in computer and our project would receive some rewards; as a result, the role of having a variety of skills is obvious here. As I have illustrated, I strongly agree to optimize ourselves with gaining diverse crafts. It not only can form our personality, but also it will provide a condition to obtain our favorite job.
The question is whether
people
with having
different
skills
are more prosperous than those who concentrate on one
skill
. Everyone with regard to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this issue,
some
may say that it depends on a
person&
#039; s ability how to apply his
skill
in every field;
however
, I
am inclined
to express that in such a technology- driven world, having a broad scope from knowledge can lead us to succeed. I feel this way in
some
reasons, which I will explore them in following essay for empowering my claim:

To
begin
with, nobody could overlook this fact that such a modern world, that we
live
, requires a powerful and intense competition among human beings;
hence
, there is a compulsory force for acquiring diverse crafts.
On the other hand
, the inherent nature of humanistic is eager to obtain the success,
so
for
many
years
people
are attempting to find
some
approaches to dominate on other nations or communities. It goes without saying that learning
different
skills
can assist us to gain this triumph in among of our friends or that same age
people
with us. One should not forget that being up-dated is able to motivate
people
for taking
risk
in any field;
consequently
, the sequence of this
event
can affect the personality of
people
. When you
are saturated
with
a large number of
skills
;
therefore
, your self-esteem and the power of independence will
be raised
up.
Finally
with such a confidence, they can become to entrepreneurs of the societies.

The second reason why I concur with being skillful in every field lies the reality that since the population has increased in recent years and the young generation search for finding job, there is a trouble with lack of appropriate jobs. If we
expect
to have an enjoyable work with well-paid money, it is vital to
improve
our
skills
.
Moreover
, nowadays the
companies
prefer to hire
people
with interdisciplinary knowledge. To elucidate, take my
own
experience. I remember, an opportunity
was created
by archaeology faculty for all students to participate in an excavation project. The majority of overwhelming of students was reluctant
because
it required
hard working
. My main major was software engineering
but
I volunteered for this task. My soul was curious about exploring new points. Needless to say that it could bring me a huge mass of
skills
about how I could excavate in a site or how to behave with a new discovered material from underground. One
year
after that an international archaeology seminar took place in my university. In short, I had a chance to collaborate with a prominent professor in surveying the climate of
middle east
in 100000 years ago with writing a code program in computer and our project would receive
some
rewards;
as a result
, the role of having a variety of
skills
is obvious here.

As I have illustrated, I
strongly
agree
to optimize ourselves with gaining diverse crafts. It not
only
can form our personality,
but
also
it will provide a condition to obtain our favorite job.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay People who develop many different skills are more successful than people just focus on only one skill. v. 160

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
513 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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