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4. Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion. ( traditional methods of teaching versus the modern ones v.1

4. Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. ( traditional methods of teaching versus the modern ones v. 1
It is claimed by many people that due to the many benefits of education over the internet, it can take over the traditional way of teaching. While, the others say that it can't take over the traditional system. In my opinion, although online education is there to help students, traditional education is also required to teach discipline and other moral values in them. Every teacher has their own unique style of teaching and some students might get that and some might not. Through online education, students have the power to choose the teacher from a wide range of them available. They can choose a teacher from whose lectures they are actually understanding the concepts or subject. Also, most of these online portals for education are free or have cheaper rates than any private tuitions. This is also a major factor in choosing an online education. Through online portals, students can get taught by the best teacher's available over the world and can conceive the highest amount of knowledge there is. A traditional system of teaching are the fundamentals of student life. Traditional system teaches what online portal's won't teach. The moral values and the discipline are just a few examples of that. Online portals might teach you everything about a subject, but they are restricted to that only, you might see them everyday on your screen, but at the end of the day you can't connect with those teachers as you would do with the school teacher's. So in my opinion, as important as it is to have an online portal for education. Traditional systems are more important than them. As traditional systems are more personal than the one that are over the internet. In conclusion, having more than one teacher in a particular subject at your disposal is the best thing about the online education. But for getting disciplined life with moral values one should also have traditional schooling.
It
is claimed
by
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many
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people
that due to the
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many
benefits of
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education
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over
the internet, it can take
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over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
way of teaching.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, the others say that it can't take
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over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. In my opinion, although
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online
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education
is there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
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education
is
also
required to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
discipline and other moral values in them.

Every
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teacher
has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique style of teaching and
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some
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students
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might
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get
that and
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some
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might
not. Through
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online
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education
,
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students
have the power to choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
from a wide range of them available. They can choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
from whose lectures they
The verb 'understanding' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are actually understanding
the concepts or subject.
Also
, most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
portals for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are free or have cheaper rates than any private
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
. This is
also
a major factor in choosing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Through
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online
portals,
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students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
taught by the best teacher's available
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over
the world and can conceive the highest amount of knowledge there is.

A
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traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
of teaching are the fundamentals of
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student
life.
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Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
what
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online
portal's won't
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teach
. The moral values and the discipline are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few examples of that.
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Online
portals
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might
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teach
you everything about a subject,
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but
they
are restricted
to that
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only
, you
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might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them everyday on your screen,
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but
at the
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end
of the day you can't connect with those
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teachers
as you would do with the school teacher's.

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So
in my opinion, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as it is to have an
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online
portal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than them.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
are more personal than the one that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the internet.

In conclusion
, having more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in a particular subject at your disposal is the best thing about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for getting disciplined life with moral values one should
also
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
schooling.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay 4. Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. ( traditional methods of teaching versus the modern ones v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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