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Some people claim that tourism can help to bridge cultural gaps between peoples of different nationalities and cultures. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people claim that tourism can help to bridge cultural gaps between peoples of different nationalities and cultures. v. 1
It is believed that mixing with a number of people from different origins can actually help in bridging up the cultural gaps in between. I strongly advocate that tourism can bridge cultural gaps. First and foremost, meaningful travel promotes the connecting bridge. Travellers can learn about the culture of another country, applying positive cultural traits to their lives. Furthermore, many foreigners visit one country, they can explore new culture, learn another langue, try to see the world through a different set of lenses. Take for example, it is a wonderful experience to have and the world would be a better place if all youth spent a year fitting in a different culture other than their own. Many commercial activities suitable to the capitalization of tourists. Regular talking with the person will let you know about various things about the person’s culture and in the same way the person can know about your culture too. Some of the important factors that you can track are the culinary styles and interests, the dressing style, the places they visit, the rituals of family, and so on. When you see that they are dressed in a particular way, you can have questions about why is it so, or you can ask about the different food habits. The more you stay connected, the more curious you will get about the way they live and the more you ask, the more you will get answers and will understand the culture better. On the other hand, there are a number of people who actually think negatively about the concept of tourism bridging up the cultural gaps. As per a number of people, in almost all the countries, even the locals learn different languages so that they can communicate with the tourists in a language they are comfortable with. Also, when English has been considered to be a common language in a maximum of the countries, mostly, people converse in English so that there is no such communication barrier created. In such a situation, it is quite impossible for tourists understand the actual culture of the people with whom he or she is communicating. However, the benefits outweigh drawbacks.
It
is believed
that mixing with a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
origins can actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in bridging up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
gaps in between. I
strongly
advocate that tourism can bridge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
gaps.

First
and foremost, meaningful travel promotes the connecting bridge.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Travellers
can learn about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, applying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
traits to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreigners visit one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they can explore new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, learn another
Possible spelling mistake found.
langue
, try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
set of lenses. Take
for example
, it is a wonderful experience to have and the world would be a better place if all youth spent a year fitting in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
other than their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
commercial activities suitable to the capitalization of tourists. Regular talking with the person will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know about various things about the person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
in the same way
the person can know about your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
too.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
are the culinary styles and interests, the dressing style, the places they visit, the rituals of family, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. When you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that they
are dressed
in a particular way, you can have questions about why is it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, or you can ask about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
food habits. The more you stay connected, the more curious you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
about the way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and the more you ask, the more you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
answers and will understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
better.

On the other hand
, there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
negatively
about the concept of tourism bridging up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
gaps. As per a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, in almost all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, even the locals learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
languages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can communicate with the tourists in a language they are comfortable with.
Also
, when English has
been considered
to be a common language in a maximum of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
mostly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
converse in English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is no such communication barrier created. In such a situation, it is quite impossible for tourists understand the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with whom he or she is communicating.
However
, the benefits outweigh drawbacks.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Some people claim that tourism can help to bridge cultural gaps between peoples of different nationalities and cultures. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
361 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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