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International tourism has become one of the biggest industries in the world. Some people think it unfortunately causes tension rather than understanding between peoples from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your v.1

International tourism has become one of the biggest industries in the world. Some people think it unfortunately causes tension rather than understanding between peoples from different cultures. Give reasons for your v. 1
Nowadays, tourism has strongly developed and become one of the main drives for the economies of many countries. In particular, international tourism has played an important role in culture exchanges between countries. However, there are concerns that the flows of foreign visitors bring more tension to the destination countries. In my opinion, I would rather disagree with it because of the following reasons. First, by traveling abroad and visiting other countries and territories, people can experience and feel the real life and cultures of the places they visit. As a proverb says: ”seeing is believing”, the true scene will definitely has a long-lasting impact on a person. For instance, an American traveler may join a tour to visit a historic prison using during the Vietnam war, so he can have a clear image of how fierce and scary the war is. It would be more influential to him compared with the photos or books he has read about that war. On the other hand, the governments usually organize the tourism promotion campaigns to attract and increase the number of the foreign visitors. Those activities will help to spread the image of people and culture of each country worldwide. By this way, everyone will have the opportunities to approach and get familiar with various cultures around the world. Overall, I would say that I am convinced by the advantages of international tourism in term of encouraging the understanding between countries, even though there are still some people hold that it leads to a great deal of tension.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
strongly
developed and become one of the main drives for the economies of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In particular
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has played an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
exchanges between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, there are concerns that the flows of foreign visitors bring more tension to the destination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In my opinion, I would
rather
disagree with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following reasons.

First
, by traveling abroad and visiting other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and territories,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can experience and feel the real life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
of the places they visit. As a proverb says:
There should be a space after a closing quote.
”seeing
is believing”, the true scene will definitely
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
has
a long-lasting impact on a person.
For instance
, an American traveler may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a tour to visit a historic prison using during the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Vietnam war
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
image of how fierce and scary the war is. It would be more influential to him compared with the photos or books he has read about that war.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
usually
organize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
promotion campaigns to attract and increase the number of the foreign visitors. Those activities will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to spread the image of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
worldwide. By this way, everyone will have the opportunities to approach and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
around the world.

Overall
, I would say that I
am convinced
by the advantages of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in term of encouraging the understanding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
even though
there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold that it leads to a great deal of tension.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay International tourism has become one of the biggest industries in the world. Some people think it unfortunately causes tension rather than understanding between peoples from different cultures. Give reasons for your v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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