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Some people claim that public museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historic objects and works of art by using a computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historic objects and works of art by using a computer. v. 1
Public facilities such as museums and art galleries are very important part of a well-planned city, but it is argued that these facilities could be removed since the historic objects and art works are easily available on the Internet. Personally, I completely disagree with this idea. The first reason why I disagree with this point of view lies in the fact that not everyone around the world has easy access to the Internet. In other words, a great number of people from some less developed areas are still suffering from poverty, either struggling to bring up a family or finding a stable job. In this case, it is impossible for those people to browse on a computer to enjoy the historic works of art as they would normally budget carefully and avoid extra expenses on their spiritual needs. What is more, provided that everyone could afford a computer and get connected to the Internet easily, the need of having public museums and art galleries could still be justified as the function offered by them could never be replaced by computers. The reason is that these facilities would give viewers the firsthand experience as they could see these historic objects and artworks in flesh, which means that the sense of national identity and the respect for different nations would be fostered among people. This can never be done by just seeing some pictures or videos of the artworks on the Internet. In conclusion, I firmly disagree with the idea of replacing the real establishment of museums and galleries since computers are not accessible to everyone and the online presentation of historic artworks could never arouse people’s patriotism and respect as effective as the real exhibitions in museums and galleries do.
Public facilities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of a well-planned city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
is argued
that these facilities could
be removed
since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
objects and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
works are
easily
available on the Internet.
Personally
, I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

The
first
reason why I disagree with this point of view lies in the fact that not everyone around the world has easy access to the Internet.
In other words
, a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
less developed areas are
still
suffering from poverty, either struggling to bring up a family or finding a stable job.
In this case
, it is impossible for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to browse on a computer to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as they would
normally
budget
carefully
and avoid extra expenses on their spiritual needs.

What is more
, provided that everyone could afford a computer and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
connected to the Internet
easily
, the need of having public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
could
still
be justified
as the function offered by them could never
be replaced
by computers. The reason is that these facilities would give viewers the firsthand experience as they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
objects and artworks in flesh, which means that the sense of national identity and the respect for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations would
be fostered
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This can never
be done
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
seeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pictures or videos of the artworks on the Internet.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of replacing the real establishment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
since computers are not accessible to everyone and the online presentation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
artworks could never arouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
patriotism and respect as effective as the real exhibitions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
do.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people claim that public museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historic objects and works of art by using a computer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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