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People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v.3

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v. 3
In the twenty first century, most of the people migrating towards the large towns in order to meet their daily needs. People living in such big cities are facing different issues in daily life, whether it could be the traffic jams, pollution, health issues, work life balance etc. I believe that the government should focus on providing better infrastructure and transportation facilities rather than encouraging them for moving towards regional towns. For instance, People living in big towns like Noida facing issues while travelling to work and back to home, which is because everyone like to commute through their own vehicle. This also led to rise in pollution level, which is having adverse effects on an individual’s health. A recent report from BBC India demonstrate surprising results that people living in large cities spent ¼ the of their day time in travelling and traffic jams. Apart from these problems, other issues like inflation, availability of fresh and healthy food and employment are also considerable. Some people said that the government should take necessary steps in order to encourage people to shift to towns with low density. But I totally disagree with this and believe that bureaucrats should more emphasize on providing the better infrastructure and transportation model to overcome the above problems. They should make sure that they have enough resources to meet the daily needs of people living there. In conclusion, I would like to share my opinion that government officials should come up with better solutions and a plan in order to resolve the problems of people living in big cities rather than pushing them to move to rural areas.
In the twenty
first
century, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrating towards the large towns in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their daily needs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in daily life, whether it could be the traffic jams, pollution, health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance etc. I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should focus on providing better infrastructure and transportation facilities
rather
than encouraging them for moving towards regional towns.

For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
towns like Noida facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
while travelling to work and back to home, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone like to commute through their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicle. This
also
led to rise in pollution level, which is having adverse effects on an individual’s health. A recent report from BBC India demonstrate surprising results that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in large cities spent ¼ the of their day time in travelling and traffic jams. Apart from these problems, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
like inflation, availability of fresh and healthy food and employment are
also
considerable.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
said that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take necessary steps in order to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to shift to towns with low density.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
totally
disagree with this and believe that bureaucrats should more emphasize on providing the better infrastructure and transportation model to overcome the above problems. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the daily needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
there.

In conclusion
, I would like to share my opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officials should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with better solutions and a plan in order to resolve the problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities
rather
than pushing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to rural areas.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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