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Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? " v.2

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. with this opinion? " v. 2
It is true that visitors to virtual museums and galleries have outnumbered those visiting real exhibitions. Although I acknowledge that it would be more convenient to view online exhibits, I do not agree that real museums and galleries will be replaced. Indeed, online museums and galleries offer services which cannot be provided by real ones. One advantage is that these websites are open all day and provide free admission. They also make information about exhibits easily accessible, compared to those crowded real museums and galleries, where it is difficult for visitors to spend considerable time on every exhibit. These are the reasons why the position of real museums and galleries are undermined to some extent. On the other hand, the demolition of real museums and galleries will erode a culture as well as citizens’ sense of identity. Only by visiting real museums and galleries can people view cultural relics and artworks with their own eyes. This experience makes people realise the profoundness of their own culture. However, as exhibits are now available in websites around the world, people will eventually ignore these exhibits’ origin and cultural implications. This is dangerous to cultural preservation. In addition, if real museums and galleries are demolished, governments will lose a part of revenue. Many buildings now serving as museums and galleries are the landmarks of the cities, such as the Palace Museum of Beijing. This is why many of them are an important component of a nation’s tourists industry, attracting countless tourists from abroad every year. The demolition of these museums and galleries may damage a country’s economy. In conclusion, although online museums and galleries are more convenient in some ways, I believe that the real ones play a vital part in cultural protection and can generate revenue, so they should not be replaced.
It is true that visitors to virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
have outnumbered those visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
exhibitions. Although I acknowledge that it would be more convenient to view online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exhibits
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
will
be replaced
.

Indeed
, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
offer services which cannot
be provided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. One advantage is that these websites are open all day and provide free admission. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exhibits
easily
accessible, compared to those crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
, where it is difficult for visitors to spend considerable time on every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exhibit
. These are the reasons why the position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
are undermined
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

On the other hand
, the demolition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
will erode a culture
as well
as citizens’ sense of identity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
relics and artworks with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
eyes. This experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the profoundness of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture.
However
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exhibits
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
available in websites around the world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exhibits’
origin and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
implications. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
preservation.

In addition
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
are demolished
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
will lose a part of revenue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
serving as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
are the landmarks of the cities, such as the Palace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
of Beijing. This is why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
component of a nation’s tourists industry, attracting countless tourists from abroad every year. The demolition of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
may damage a country’s economy.

In conclusion
, although online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
are more convenient in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
play a vital part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
protection and can generate revenue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should not
be replaced
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. with this opinion? " v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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