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Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.4

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. v. 4
Some people are of the opinion that parents ought to motivate their youngsters to study as well as reduce the amount of time spent on watching television and playing computer games. It is agreed that children should be made to give more time to reading and less time on watching tv. First of all, reading should be made a priority for every child. Children are the bedrock of every society and ought to be advised to take up important tasks, particularly reading at an early age. To illustrate, many schools create reading clubs which admit children from 4 years and above. Thereby, helping children imbibe reading habit at a young age. Therefore, parents should motivate their kids to spend time reading at home instead of watching television and playing computer games. On the other hand, watching television and playing games are regarded as less essential activities but yet, cannot be neglected. Some programs televised on kids channel are crucial for learning and development in children. For instance, nursery rhymes and poems have been known to facilitate speech impaired children to speak. Likewise, playing computer games, which studies have shown to help kids become mentally active. In as much as these activities may appear insignificant in a child’s life, they also play a role in learning and development of youngsters. In conclusion, I consider that parents should motivate their children to spend more time studying in order to build their study habit and also time should be spent on activities involving the screen such as watching tv as programs viewed are most times educating and helps children develop their mental skills.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that parents ought to motivate their youngsters to study
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on watching television and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer games. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be made
to give more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
should
be made
a priority for every child.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are the bedrock of every society and ought to
be advised
to take up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tasks,
particularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
at an early age. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
clubs which admit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from 4 years and above. Thereby, helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
imbibe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habit at a young age.
Therefore
, parents should motivate their kids to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
at home
instead
of watching television and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer games.

On the other hand
, watching television and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
games
are regarded
as less essential activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
yet
, cannot
be neglected
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
programs televised on kids channel are crucial for learning and development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, nursery rhymes and poems have
been known
to facilitate speech impaired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to speak.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer games, which studies have shown to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
kids become mentally active. In as much as these activities may appear insignificant in a child’s life, they
also
play a role in learning and development of youngsters.

In conclusion
, I consider that parents should motivate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
studying in order to build their study habit and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
be spent
on activities involving the screen such as watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
as programs viewed are most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
educating and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop their mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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