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Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.8

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is wrong. v. 8
It is argued by many that the use of animals for the purpose of medical inquiry for the betterment of human being is right while others believe it is unacceptable. In my opinion, while I believe the usage of animals for medical investigation is a good idea because it saves humans from being treated in a barbaric manner for medical purposes, I also agree that it is detrimental to the existence of the subject animals. Humans have been used in the past for several medical inquiry projects that are seen to be inhumane as they caused permanent damage to their lives. Because of this, it is better to explore animals for medical researches. Furthermore, the adoption of animals for exploration will help scientist to accurately develop vaccines and medicines without causing great harm to the subject animals unlike humans. For instance, ananalysis for the cure of syphilis was conducted on 400 men and women, 200 were infected with the virus without their consent so as to monitor the progression of the disease and they were left untreated. The prolonged presence of the disease led to permanent loss of sight and deafness in the 200 persons. As a result of this probe, medical personnels began testing drugs and vaccines on animals in the bid to curb the barbaric act on human lives. However, using some certain animals for medical exploration has been found to be detrimental to their existence as it could lead to the extinction of such species. For example, the US bio-research program showed that specific animals whose species are rare and have been used for medical research that causes gene mutations are now unable to procreate. This development would lead to extinction once the remaining breed dies. In my opinion, it is therefore advisable that animal species that are abundant should be used for research. In conclusion, although the need of animals for medical investigation is harmful to their being, I am of the opinion that animals of bountiful species should be used for research purposes
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
inquiry for the betterment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being is right while others believe it is unacceptable. In my opinion, while I believe the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
investigation is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
from
being treated
Consider replacing "in a barbaric manner" with the adverb for "barbaric"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a barbaric manner
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
purposes, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is detrimental to the existence of the subject animals.

Humans have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the past for several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
inquiry projects that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be inhumane as they caused permanent damage to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Because of this
, it is better to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
researches.
Furthermore
, the adoption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for exploration will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
scientist to
accurately
develop vaccines and medicines without causing great harm to the subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ananalysis
for the cure of syphilis
was conducted
on 400
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women, 200
were infected
with the virus without their consent
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
monitor the progression of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disease and
they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
untreated. The prolonged presence of the disease led to permanent loss of sight and deafness in the 200 persons.
As a result
of this probe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "personnel", the plural form of the noun 'personnel'?
personnels
began testing drugs and vaccines on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the bid to curb the barbaric act on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

However
, using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
exploration has
been found
to be detrimental to their existence as it could lead to the extinction of such species.
For example
, the US bio-research program
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
whose species are rare and have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
research that causes gene mutations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
unable to procreate. This development would lead to extinction once the remaining breed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
. In my opinion, it is
therefore
advisable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species that are abundant should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for research.

In conclusion
, although the need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
investigation is harmful to their being, I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
of bountiful species should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for research purposes
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is wrong. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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