Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. v. 3
It is an undeniable fact that, nowadays, university education is essential for everyone. Some people believe that, it is very difficult for both the poor and rich students to get admission in universities. I, however, argue that, it is only the lower class students, for whom gaining access into universities is hard. Firstly, I believe that, affording the tuition fee of universities is the biggest hurdle for students belonging to the low socioeconomic class. For example, the famous institutions in Pakistan like, Institute of Business Administration (IBA) and Dow University Of Health Sciences (DUHS), offer reputed courses and degrees, but their academic fee is very high for a poor student to afford. However, children belonging to wealthy families find it quite easy to pay the fee and gain access to these well-known institutes. Secondly, the students from underprivileged families, are often unable to clear the entrance exams of the tertiary education institutions. This is because, due to poverty, their primary and secondary education is from such schools and colleges, which lack the potential of making them capable enough to ace the entry tests. Therefore, their chance of getting admission in universities decreases. While, the rich students, with much stronger basic education, very easily pass the exams and get the opportunity to join whichever university they like. To conclude, achieving tertiary education is far more challenging for the children of lower economic status when compared to the wealthier ones. This is because they face some major issues like, unbearable expenses of universities and inefficient basic education.
It is an undeniable fact that, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is essential for everyone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for both the poor and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. I,
however
, argue that, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, for whom gaining access into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

Firstly
, I believe that, affording the tuition fee of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is the biggest hurdle for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
belonging to the low socioeconomic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
For example
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
institutions in Pakistan like, Institute of Business Administration (IBA) and Dow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
Of Health Sciences (
Possible spelling mistake found.
DUHS
), offer reputed courses and degrees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their academic fee is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high for a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to afford.
However
, children belonging to wealthy families find it quite easy to pay the fee and gain access to these well-known institutes.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from underprivileged families, are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the entrance exams of the tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institutions. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, due to poverty, their primary and secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is from such schools and colleges, which lack the potential of making them capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to ace the entry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
.
Therefore
, their chance of getting admission in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
decreases. While, the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, with much stronger basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
pass the exams and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
whichever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
they like.

To conclude
, achieving tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is far more challenging for the children of lower economic status when compared to the wealthier ones. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major issues like, unbearable expenses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and inefficient basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts