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Some people believes that they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believes that they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. v. 1
Presently, most of the countries are planning a multitude of welfare activities to the poor people by collecting these taxes. Besides, certain people opine, that they can avoid paying taxes to the state government instead they can utilize it by their own. In this essay, I disagree with the viewpoint and suggest my opinion. Firstly, the law enforcement agencies should create awareness among the public to pay taxes. So, this person will try to fulfil their duties instead their money was handed over to the government. Secondly, people started paying the taxes to the bureaucrats correctly because of the welfare activities. Moreover, if a person files their income-tax according to the rules, they won't face any problems. A research stated that 90% of the people living in the developed nations were more likely to follow the regulations. On the other hand, any state in the world cannot generate its own revenue until the citizens pay taxes. While the public earns a lot by using the facilities in a state, but they were not interested to pay tax in return. For instance, the Tata's, who always tries to escape from following the rules, were considered as the wealthiest people in India. In the conclusion, a likely reason why most of the nations were interested to collect taxes because it helps to implement the schemes, which would benefit the poor people. Indeed, no state country in the world cannot generate their own revenue unless the citizen's pay them indirectly. However, the rich people utilize these schemes to earn their income, but they were not supporting their own country to develop. Therefore, I strongly believe that it is every citizen's duty to work for the welfare of the nation and follow the rules implemented by the authorities.
Presently
, most of the countries are planning a multitude of welfare activities to the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by collecting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
Besides
, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine, that they can avoid paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
instead
they can utilize it by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. In this essay, I disagree with the viewpoint and suggest my opinion.

Firstly
, the law enforcement agencies should create awareness among the public to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this person will try to fulfil their duties
instead
their money
was handed
over to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
paying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to the bureaucrats
correctly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the welfare activities.
Moreover
, if a person files their income-tax according to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, they won't face any problems.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
stated that 90% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the developed nations were more likely to follow the regulations.

On the other hand
, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
in the world cannot generate its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
revenue until the citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
. While the public earns a lot by using the facilities in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they were not interested to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
in return.
For instance
, the Tata's, who always tries to escape from following the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
were considered
as the wealthiest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in India.

In the conclusion, a likely reason why most of the nations
were interested
to collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to implement the schemes, which would benefit the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Indeed
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
country in the world cannot generate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
revenue unless the citizen's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
them
indirectly
.
However
, the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
utilize these schemes to earn their income,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they were not supporting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country to develop.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that it is every citizen's duty to work for the welfare of the nation and follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
implemented by the authorities.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people believes that they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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