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Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job Discuss both views and give your opinion v.5

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job 5
One of the highly controversial issues today relates to whether female applicants for police or the military job should be treated equally regardless of the gender difference or these kinds of job do not fit for women. In this essay, I will examine this question from both points of view and then explain why I agree with the former opinion. On one side of the argument there are people who argue that women should be treated in a similar way to men in applying for police and the military. The main reason for believing this is that all individuals have a right to choose their job freely. It is the fundamental human rights, which should be provided for everyone equally. This principle can be applied for any kind of job, including law enforcement and the army. It is also possible to say that female workers is definitely necessary in any workplaces. There is a type of job that is more favorable for women to deal with. One good illustration of this is physical examinations for female criminals and injured female soldiers. If men do this, it may cause the issue of sexual harassment. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that women are unsuitable for these kinds of job. People often have this opinion because these jobs are physically challenging for women. Generally speaking, women are inferior to men in terms of physical strength. Police officers and soldiers have many opportunities to fight with brutal male criminals and warier in a crime scene or a battle field. In these situations, it is highly possible that female officers or soldiers become a victim of physical violence or even sexual assault. In conclusion, I believe that both argument are convincing. On balance, however, I tend to believe that women should be treated equally in application for police and the military from the view point of human rights and role that women can play in some situations rather than being treated unequally in terms of physical strength.
One of the
highly
controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
applicants for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
or the military
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
equally
regardless of the gender difference or these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
do not fit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. In this essay, I will examine this question from both points of view and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former opinion.

On one side of the argument there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
Consider replacing "in a similar way" with the adverb for "similar"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a similar way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in applying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
and the military. The main reason for believing this is that all individuals have a right to choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
freely
. It is the fundamental human rights, which should
be provided
for everyone
equally
. This principle can
be applied
for any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, including law enforcement and the army. It is
also
possible to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
workers is definitely necessary in any workplaces. There is a type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that is
more favorable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to deal with. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
examinations for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
criminals and injured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
soldiers. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
do this, it may cause the issue of sexual harassment.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are unsuitable for these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
physically
challenging for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Generally
speaking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are inferior to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
strength.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Police
officers and soldiers have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to fight with brutal male criminals and warier in a crime scene or a battle field. In these situations, it is
highly
possible that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
officers or soldiers become a victim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
violence or even sexual assault.

In conclusion
, I believe that both argument are convincing. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
equally
in application for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
and the military from the view point of human rights and role that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can play in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations
rather
than being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
unequally
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
strength.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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