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Some people think that we live in a society where money and possessions are given too much importance Others believe that this is improving our lives Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.2

Some people think that we live in a society where money and possessions are given too much importance Others believe that this is improving our lives 2
One of the highly controversial issues today relates to whether people value money and possessions too much or it makes human life better. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view and then give my own opinion on the matter. On one side of the argument, there are people who argue that people prioritize money and possessions too significantly. The main reason for believing this is that money takes precedence over what should be valued, such as morality and interpersonal relationships. In today’s world, many people commit crimes, including robbery and even murder for monetary reasons, hurting others. It is also possible to say that financial issues often cause conflicts among individuals and even family members. One good illustration of this is inheritance. It can cause serious problems in a family relationship, destroying the family bond permanently. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that money and possessions can enrich our life. People often have this opinion because it enables us to purchase necessities such as sustenance and accommodation. Moreover, people can enjoy luxuries including jewelries or oversea travels, which will bring about great joy. A second point is that our health can be increased by utilizing sufficient financial resources and excellent equipment. Expensive wholesome organic food and cutting-edge training machine can help people to stay healthy. Even if they suffer from diseases, they can receive a good health care at a prestigious hospital which has the latest devices. In conclusion, I believe that both arguments are convincing. On balance, however, I tend to believe that money and items can make our life happy as long as we have a keen sense of morality, never to harm others for financial reasons.
One of the
highly
controversial issues
today
relates to whether
people
value
money
and possessions too much or it
makes
human life better. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view and then give my
own
opinion on the matter.

On one side of the argument, there are
people
who argue that
people
prioritize
money
and possessions too
significantly
. The main reason for believing this is that
money
takes precedence over what should
be valued
, such as morality and interpersonal relationships. In
today
’s world,
many
people
commit crimes, including robbery and even murder for monetary reasons, hurting others. It is
also
possible to say that financial issues
often
cause conflicts among individuals and even family members. One
good
illustration of this is inheritance. It can cause serious problems in a family relationship, destroying the family bond
permanently
.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
make
the opposing case. It is
often
argued that
money
and possessions can enrich our life.
People
often
have this opinion
because
it enables us to
purchase
necessities such as sustenance and accommodation.
Moreover
,
people
can enjoy luxuries including jewelries or oversea travels, which will bring about great joy. A second point is that our health can
be increased
by utilizing sufficient financial resources and excellent equipment. Expensive wholesome organic food and cutting-edge training machine can
help
people
to stay healthy. Even if they suffer from diseases, they can receive a
good
health care at a prestigious hospital which has the latest devices.

In conclusion
, I believe that both arguments are convincing. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that
money
and items can
make
our life happy as long as we have a keen sense of morality, never to harm others for financial reasons.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that we live in a society where money and possessions are given too much importance Others believe that this is improving our lives 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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