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Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job Discuss both views and give your opinion v.3

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job 3
The sense of community may be considered an indispensable part of human life. However, in recent years, it seems that the interaction among residents in the neighbourhood is getting more and more infrequent. In this essay, the cause, as well as solutions to this issue, will be analysed. One of the main root causes that prevent humans from communicating with the next-door neighbour is their high volume of workload. Over the last few decades, every part of the world has opened its border to collaborate with several counterparts over continents. This leads to an increase in the working hour of some office workers in the office; consequently, their lives are possibly becoming more and more bustle and hustle with fast-paced routines. For example, instead of going home on time, an international relations specialist may have to take extra time to deal with customers in different countries due to undone duties; therefore, the time for neighbouring intercommunication might be affected and limited. To tackle this matter, the time reduction at work can be taken into account. Accordingly, the decline in the schedule of work may generate an extra period that the citizens can spend for neighbours in the surrounding community. Instead of coming back home late, the sooner return gives the opportunity to have short talks, which probably improve the sense of awareness of society. However, this method is potentially practical if the operation between the governments and employers through their labour policy works. In conclusion, having an inadequate moment for socializing is likely to be negative. Thus, it is necessary to consider the reasons as well as figure out some recommendations to this concern; as a result, people’s standard of living in terms of socialization may get advanced.
The sense of community may
be considered
an indispensable part of human life.
However
, in recent years, it seems that the interaction among residents in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
is getting more and more infrequent. In this essay, the cause,
as well
as solutions to this issue, will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
.

One of the main root causes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
humans from communicating with the
next
-door
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
is their high volume of workload. Over the last few decades, every part of the world has opened its border to collaborate with several counterparts over continents. This leads to an increase in the working hour of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
office workers in the office;
consequently
, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are
possibly
becoming more and more bustle and hustle with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced routines.
For example
,
instead
of going home on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, an international relations specialist may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to deal with customers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries due to undone duties;
therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
intercommunication might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and limited.

To tackle this matter, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
reduction at work can
be taken
into account.
Accordingly
, the decline in the schedule of work may generate an extra period that the citizens can spend for
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
in the surrounding community.
Instead
of coming back home late, the sooner return gives the opportunity to have short talks, which
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the sense of awareness of society.
However
, this method is
potentially
practical if the operation between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and employers through their
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
policy works.

In conclusion
, having an inadequate moment for socializing is likely to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
Thus
, it is necessary to consider the reasons
as well
as figure out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recommendations to this concern;
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s standard of living in terms of socialization may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advanced.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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