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Some people believe that we can use animals the way we want while others believe animals have rights and we must respect their rights. What is your opinion. Use specific reasons to support your point of view. v.1

Some people believe that we can use animals the way we want while others believe animals have rights and we must respect their rights. What is your opinion. Use specific reasons to support your point of view. v. 1
Environmental issues have become one of major concern in society over recent years. A number of people think that one of the roles of the politicians is to ensure that people feel accountable to the environment due to their actions. I partly agree with this view and this essay will discuss why taking the responsibility of citizens is ultimately important and why the cooperation between the government and citizens is equally important. On the one hand, there are a few major factor which affects negatively the ecosystems and the habitats, and should feel accountable for the environmental protection. Human activity, which is undoubtedly one of these factors, has had a negative impact on the planet. For example, according to the U. S. Environmental Protection Agency, human activities are largely responsible for an increase in temperature around the globe, primarily due to carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gas emissions. Therefore, the administrators should make people responsible for their actions on the environment. On the other hand, despite the fact people are the main responsibility of the environmental protection, saving the planet for our future generations requires a collective responsibility. In other words, the government, which is the most effective and powerful instrument in society, and have the authority to implement laws related to the environment, can play an important role. Moreover, the first of the steps which the politicians should take is to collaborate with citizens. For instance, the government can invest in eco-friendly technologies such as electric cars so that people can quickly adapt these technologies, which reduce the level of carbon dioxide releasing from diesel and petrol cars. Hence, the government should take its own responsibilities by collaborating with its citizens. In conclusion, humanity has a collective responsibility to save the world where is the only habitat of the humanity. Although I agree that people are essentially responsible for human activities such as releasing carbon dioxide to the nature, I think that the government is also equally responsible for environmental protection to save the future of the planet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
issues have become one of major concern in society over recent years. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that one of the roles of the politicians is to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel accountable to the environment due to their actions. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and this essay will discuss why taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of citizens is
ultimately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and why the cooperation between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and citizens is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the one hand, there are a few major
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "factors"?
factor
which affects
negatively
the ecosystems and the habitats, and should feel accountable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
. Human activity, which is
undoubtedly
one of these factors, has had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the planet.
For example
, according to the U. S.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Protection
Agency, human activities are
largely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for an increase in temperature around the globe,
primarily
due to carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gas emissions.
Therefore
, the administrators should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for their actions on the environment.

On the other hand
, despite the fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
, saving the planet for our future generations requires a collective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, which is the most effective and powerful instrument in society, and have the authority to implement laws related to the environment, can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role.
Moreover
, the
first
of the steps which the politicians should take is to collaborate with citizens.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can invest in eco-friendly technologies such as electric cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
quickly
adapt these technologies, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of carbon dioxide releasing from diesel and petrol cars.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
by collaborating with its citizens.

In conclusion
, humanity has a collective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to save the world where is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
habitat of the humanity. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
essentially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for human activities such as releasing carbon dioxide to the nature, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
also
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
to save the future of the planet.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that we can use animals the way we want while others believe animals have rights and we must respect their rights. What is your opinion. Use specific reasons to support your point of view. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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