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growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans. While others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including use for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans. While others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including use for food and research. v. 1
Animals are often seen as the lower creatures and because of that, some group of people feel that they should be used to bring satisfaction to human needs. Meanwhile, other groups of individuals argue against it, that they have feelings as human beings. Therefore, they should be given the same rights as humans. In my own opinion, animals are created to serve people, thus, they should be employed to bring satisfaction to their various needs. To begin with, some individuals believe that these creatures can barely think or have a rational reasoning like humans. Therefore, society can use them as they want. Take for instance, in the religious context, in the book of genesis, God gave human beings the power to control and dominate all he has created, including the animals so it is absolutely improper to give the same rights to both animals; lower creatures and human; the most intelligent form of creation. On the other hand, recent research shows that animals these days express emotions such as pain, excitement and love exactly like human beings. We can see this in dogs; the most friendly animal on earth. I have come across dogs that cry after losing the owner. As a result of this, animals like dogs should be acknowledged in a special way and should not be exploited in any form either as food or for a research. In conclusion, although some animals should be treated with respect, we should also have it in mind that their essence of existence is to bring adequate satisfaction to the human needs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the lower creatures and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to bring satisfaction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs. Meanwhile, other groups of individuals argue against it, that they have feelings as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
Therefore
, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the same rights as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are created
to serve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
thus
, they should
be employed
to bring satisfaction to their various needs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that these creatures can
barely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
or have a rational reasoning like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Therefore
, society can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them as they want. Take
for instance
, in the religious context, in the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
book of genesis
, God gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings the power to control and dominate all he has created, including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
absolutely
improper to give the same rights to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
; lower creatures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
; the most intelligent form of creation.

On the other hand
, recent research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
these days express emotions such as pain, excitement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
exactly like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this in dogs; the most friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
on earth. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across dogs that cry after losing the owner.
As a result
of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like dogs should
be acknowledged
in a special way and should not
be exploited
in any form either as food or for
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be treated
with respect, we should
also
have it in mind that their essence of existence is to bring adequate satisfaction to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans. While others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including use for food and research. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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