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A growing number of people feel that animals should be not exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as human, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reason from your own experience and examples where relevant v.1

A growing number of people feel that animals should be not exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as human, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research Give reason from your own experience and examples where relevant v. 1
In modern society, animal exploitation has received a great deal of media attention. Many arguments have been made for and against this issue. In this essay, I will discuss both views and state my own position. Opponents of animal abuse - sometimes called “animal right activists” - claim that animal in both food production and research activities have to suffer severe pain or even be killed since these activities require a wide range of chemical substances used for these animals. Moreover, a majority of livestock is beaten during food production activities, which is against moral values. For example, cows raised on farm have to endure terrifying, painful, and cruel procedure to make dairy products. Furthermore, these kinds of food are not essential as there are more alternatives which supplies more nutrients than animal meat; for example nuts, mushrooms, and beans. Meanwhile, those who support the expansion of animal exploitation claim that animals used for research activities may be greatly beneficial for human beings. To be more specific, scientists could find new vaccines and drugs preventing terrible diseases by doing research on animals. This means that doctor have more chance to cure more patients who are severely ill, which could improve public health. In fact, scientists in the USA have explored a new vaccine for cancer treatment after testing on rabbits. Animal exploitation proponents also claim that the improvement of public health means that there is less burden to society. In conclusion, while there are convincing arguments on both sides of the debate, I would argue that human uses of animal are necessary. It is not realistic for people to find alternatives for these activities.
In modern society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
exploitation has received a great deal of media attention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
arguments have
been made
for and against this issue. In this essay, I will discuss both views and state my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
position.

Opponents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
abuse
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“animal
right activists”
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
in both food production and research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer severe pain or even
be killed
since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
require a wide range of chemical substances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Moreover
, a majority of livestock
is beaten
during food production
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, which is against moral values.
For example
, cows raised on farm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
endure terrifying, painful, and cruel procedure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
dairy products.
Furthermore
, these kinds of food are not essential as there are more alternatives which supplies more nutrients than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
meat;
for example
nuts, mushrooms, and beans.

Meanwhile, those who support the expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
exploitation claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
may be
greatly
beneficial for human beings. To be more specific, scientists could find new vaccines and drugs preventing terrible diseases by doing research on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This means that doctor have more chance to cure more patients who are
severely
ill, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public health. In fact, scientists in the USA have explored a new vaccine for cancer treatment after testing on rabbits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animal
exploitation proponents
also
claim that the improvement of public health means that there is less burden to society.

In conclusion
, while there are convincing arguments on both sides of the debate, I would argue that human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
are necessary. It is not realistic for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to find alternatives for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should be not exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as human, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research Give reason from your own experience and examples where relevant v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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