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Some people believe that watching TV is good and makes life more enjoyable, others, however, think it is a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that watching TV is good and makes life more enjoyable, others, however, think it is a waste of time. Give your own opinion. v. 1
In the era of technology, television plays an essential role in the lives of people. It reduces the boredom from the life of modern man. However, some masses contradict it and consider it as a waste of time. I totally disagree with this statement. This essay will discuss the reasons to support my viewpoint in the subsequent paragraphs in an efficacious way. To begin with, TV not only provide the information about particular area, but it also update humans with providing them latest world wide data. To demonstrate, some news channels like CNN and BBC give the news at international basis. Moreover, television is beneficial for learning. Younger children can take the advantages to earn significant knowledge from programs related to their practical studies. For instance, backyard science program is helpful for kids to raise their marks in science, and english cartoon programs can improve the english language of youngsters. Furthermore, reality shows appreciate common public to show their talent in front of audiences. These reality talent shows attract more contestants and change their life from a comman person to a celebrity. For example India's got talent provides the opportunity to show every type of talent. Apart from that, TV works as a stress buster for human beings. Someone can get rid of all tensions by watching his favourite serial and non fiction comedy. To examplify, more than half of Indian audience love to watch comedy shows in the weekend to give some rest their mind from job load. To conclude, television is beneficial when it is watched in a right way and to some extent. TV is helpful in learning as well as in entertainment. All in all, general public and younger children can take the advantages by using television in a position way.
In the era of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
plays an essential role in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the boredom from the life of modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses contradict it and consider it as a waste of time. I
totally
disagree with this statement. This essay will discuss the reasons to support my viewpoint in the subsequent paragraphs
Consider replacing "in an efficacious way" with the adverb for "efficacious"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an efficacious way
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, TV not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide the information about particular area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
Did you mean "updates"?
update
humans with providing them
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
data. To demonstrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
news channels like CNN and BBC give the news at international basis.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is beneficial for learning. Younger children can take the advantages to earn significant knowledge from programs related to their practical studies.
For instance
, backyard science program is helpful for kids to raise their marks in science, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
cartoon programs can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
language of youngsters.

Furthermore
, reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
appreciate common public to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in front of audiences. These reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
attract more contestants and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
from a
Possible spelling mistake found.
comman
person to a celebrity.
For example
India's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
provides the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
every type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. Apart from that, TV works as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster for human beings. Someone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of all tensions by watching his
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
serial and
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
non fiction
comedy. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
, more than half of Indian audience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
comedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
in the weekend to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rest their mind from job load.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is beneficial when it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
Consider replacing "in a right way" with the adverb for "right"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a right way
and to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. TV is helpful in learning
as well
as in entertainment. All in all,
Consider using "public".
general public
and younger children can take the advantages by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in a position way.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that watching TV is good and makes life more enjoyable, others, however, think it is a waste of time. Give your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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