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In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction, causing high levels of water and air pollution. What measures could be taken to prevent this? v.1

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction, causing high levels of water and air pollution. What measures could be taken to prevent this? v. 1
With the rapid growth of industrialization and construction industry, water and air pollution have become major concerns for many developing countries. In my opinion, using modern technologies and enforcing strict pollution control laws are crucial for improving the situation. One of the causes of water pollution is the discharging of sewage water into the rivers and oceans without any treatment. The sewage water contains harmful bacteria which can bring serious threat to the aquatic life. In an effort to prevent these issues, modern technologies like sewage water treatment plant can be used to treat sewage water for recycling and reuse the treated water for domestic purpose. This will not only reduce sewage disposal issues but also solve the problem of water shortage. For example, developed countries like USA have an impeccable system which not only treats sewage water for disposal purpose, but also recycles in such a way that they can use it for normal domestic purpose. In other words, modern technologies ought to be used for reducing water pollution. Besides water, air has also some grave issues. One of the main causes of air pollution is a huge amount of debris generated from construction sites. Air pollution has affected not only flora and fauna, but also humans. In order to eradicate air pollution, the government must implement stringent environmental policies for construction sites. For example, in order to get an interim commencement certificate the developer must seek approval from the environmental department, which regulates the air pollution level for construction sites. This will ensure that construction sites do not generate harmful waste and preventive actions are taken to alleviate air pollution. In short, stringent policies which regulate pollution levels at sites can help to reduce air pollution. To conclude, advanced technologies and stern policies are necessary to prevent further deterioration of air and water quality.
With the rapid growth of industrialization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
industry,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
have become major concerns for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. In my opinion, using modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and enforcing strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
control laws are crucial for improving the situation.

One of the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is the discharging of sewage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
into the rivers and oceans without any treatment. The sewage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
contains harmful bacteria which can bring serious threat to the aquatic life. In an effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
these issues, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
like sewage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
treatment plant can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to treat sewage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for recycling and reuse the treated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for domestic purpose. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
sewage disposal issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
solve the problem of
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water
shortage.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the USA".
like USA
have an impeccable system which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
treats sewage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for disposal purpose,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
recycles in such a way that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for normal domestic purpose.
In other words
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution.

Besides
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water
,
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air
has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
grave issues. One of the main causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is a huge amount of debris generated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
flora and fauna,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
humans. In order to eradicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
implement stringent environmental policies for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
For example
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an interim commencement certificate the developer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
seek approval from the environmental department, which regulates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
level for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. This will ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
do not generate harmful waste and preventive actions
are taken
to alleviate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. In short, stringent policies which regulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
levels at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution.

To conclude
, advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and stern policies are necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
further
deterioration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
quality.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction, causing high levels of water and air pollution. What measures could be taken to prevent this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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