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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have an significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion? v.20

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have an significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion? v. 20
Physical assault is seen commonly these days on entertainment portals. A few think that these movies and games cause a bad influence on an individual's behaviour, while others feel that the people act by their own will. This essay will discuss that, watching violence continuously has a damaging effect on a person's thinking. In my opinion, this type of entertainment should not be encouraged. The fight scenes shown on television or combat games are often created utilizing the technology that give larger than life effects. Moreover, huge arms and machines are used for this purpose, so that the public can enjoy. For example, a man is seen slaughtering his enemies in a computer game Contra, is very popular among the teenagers. Hence, the producers tend to promote violent shows to earn higher profits. Despite all the entertainment, these programmes inadvertently cause damaging mental effects, especially on the younger generation. In addition, this often gets unnoticed and creates a negative perception towards various situations. For instance, a case was reported in which a school boy died, because of the serious injury he sustained in a fight with his classmate, when they tried to enact a fight sequence from a movie. Therefore, strict regulations should be enforced on such programmes. In conclusion, assault as a means of entertainment is very frequently used these days. This essay discussed that, violent games or movies should not be encouraged as they cause a negative influence especially on the youth. I opine that, there should be strict rules so as to limit the production of such forms of entertainment.
Physical assault is
seen
commonly
these days on entertainment portals. A few
think
that these movies and
games
cause a
bad
influence on an individual's
behaviour
, while others feel that the
people
act by their
own
will. This essay will discuss that, watching violence
continuously
has a damaging effect on a person's thinking. In my opinion, this type of entertainment should not
be encouraged
.

The fight scenes shown on television or combat
games
are
often
created utilizing the technology that give larger than life effects.
Moreover
, huge arms and machines are
used
for this purpose,
so
that the public can enjoy.
For example
, a
man
is
seen
slaughtering his enemies in a computer game Contra, is
very
popular among the
teenagers
.
Hence
, the producers tend to promote violent
shows
to earn higher profits.

Despite all the entertainment, these
programmes
inadvertently
cause damaging mental effects,
especially
on the younger generation.
In addition
, this
often
gets
unnoticed and creates a
negative
perception towards various situations.
For instance
, a case
was reported
in which a school boy
died
,
because
of the serious injury he sustained in a fight with his classmate, when they tried to enact a fight sequence from a movie.
Therefore
, strict regulations should
be enforced
on such
programmes
.

In conclusion
, assault as a means of entertainment is
very
frequently
used
these days. This essay discussed that, violent
games
or movies should not
be encouraged
as they cause a
negative
influence
especially
on the youth. I opine that, there should be strict
rules
so as to
limit the production of such forms of entertainment.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have an significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion? v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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