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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.31

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 31
Some people claim that high school curriculum should include a mandatory community service, which would be provided by students for free. While the positive impacts are obvious of such programmes, there are people, including myself, who believe that community service is something students should choose to do and not be forced upon. In this essay I will discuss why, in my opinion, high school students’ service to communities is a great idea, although should not be compulsory. To start with, introducing high school students to society service has a beneficial effect on both sides, communities and students themselves. We see many of communities struggle due to having not enough funding and, as a result, encountering many problems, such as charities running low and our elderly not being taken care of properly. Unpaid service of high school students would not only help to fix this problem, but also would provide pupils with a great way of understanding how to work, is part of the society and help at the same time. However, I believe that high schools should include community duty programmes as optional for students to choose and as such, award them for selecting this volunteering activity. For instance, arrange an exciting trip somewhere nice. Students would look differently at something they can actually choose from rather than being forced to do and would be a lot more motivated. To conclude, I strongly believe that high schools should promote their students to take on unpaid community service and consequently award them for doing so. As a result, we would see remarkable and positive impacts to many of the communities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum should include a mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, which would
be provided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for free. While the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts are obvious of such
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, including myself, who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should choose to do and not
be forced
upon. In this essay I will discuss why, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, although should not be compulsory.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
has a beneficial effect on both sides,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
themselves. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
struggle due to having not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funding and,
as a result
, encountering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems, such as charities running low and our elderly not
being taken
care of
properly
. Unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
would provide pupils with a great way of understanding how to work, is part of the society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
at the same time.

However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
duty
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
as optional for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to choose and as such, award them for selecting this volunteering activity.
For instance
, arrange an exciting trip somewhere nice.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
would look
differently
at something they can actually choose from
rather
than
being forced
to do and would be a lot more motivated.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take on unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and
consequently
award them for doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
As a result
, we would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
remarkable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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