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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 1
There is a view that free volunteer work should be made mandatory as part of the school curriculum for the teenagers. In my opinion, this is could be a positive initiative as it teaches the youngsterws empathy and inculcate a skillset which is helpful for their personal and professional development. Partcipating in the activities which are for the larger good of the community, helps the adolescent growing mind to become empathetic to the issues and challenges faced by the underserved sections of the society. When they are working for charitable causes, they are presented with the opportunities to understand and interact closely with these communities. This provides first hand insights which inspire their world view. A recent study conducted by Advanced School Association, suggested that a boy or girl involved in social service is more likely to be empathetic as compared to the one with no such exposure. Another positive aspect of volunteering is that it helps youngsters in developing social skills to manage and collaborate with people from all walks of life. This contributes immensely to their own personal as well as career growth as they will be able to demonstrate experience of working closely with the different communities. Moreover, all the employers also see this experience positively and prefer such candidates. According to a survey conducted by LinkedIn on advantages of volunteer experience, most of the takers responded that this equipped them with the ability to team up effectively with the people from different backgrounds and provided an edge over others. In conclusion, I reiterate that social work as part of educational experience would help the school goers immensely in developing much needed and critical personal and professional characteristics and would inspire them to be good citizens of the society.
There is a view that free volunteer work should
be made
mandatory as part of the school curriculum for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. In my opinion, this
Did you mean "it"?
is
could be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
initiative as it teaches the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngsterws
empathy and inculcate a
Possible spelling mistake found.
skillset
which is helpful for their personal and professional development.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Partcipating
in the activities which are for the larger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of the community,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the adolescent growing mind to become empathetic to the issues and challenges faced by the underserved sections of the society. When they are working for charitable causes, they
are presented
with the opportunities to understand and interact
closely
with these communities. This provides
'first hand' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "first-hand".
first hand
insights which inspire their world view. A recent study conducted by Advanced School Association, suggested that a boy or girl involved in social service is more likely to be empathetic as compared to the one with no such exposure.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect of volunteering is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
youngsters in developing social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to manage and collaborate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all walks of life. This contributes
immensely
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal
as well
as career growth as they will be able to demonstrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of working
closely
with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
communities.
Moreover
, all the employers
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
positively
and prefer such candidates. According to a survey conducted by LinkedIn on advantages of volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, most of the takers responded that this equipped them with the ability to team up
effectively
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds and provided an edge over others.

In conclusion
, I reiterate that social work as part of educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the school goers
immensely
in developing
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
and critical personal and professional characteristics and would inspire them to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens of the society.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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