Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v.9

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 9
It is becoming increasingly common for families to send their elderly relatives to nursing homes, rather than taking care of them at home. This essay will highlight some of the benefits and drawbacks of this change. Looking firstly at the positives, one significant advantage of sending elders in nursing homes is that they are better equipped to cater to the needs of the elderly than family homes. For example, most nursing homes do not usually have stairs, and for those that do, elevators need to be installed. This can prevent problems, such as knee pain that tend to appear in geriatrics from complicating. Not only this, but the staff of care homes is professionally trained to handle the demands of the old aged. It is rare for members of a family to possess the skills. However, sending the elderly to care homes can also present some disadvantages, the most obvious of which is the lack of loved ones around. Although it is possible for friends and family members to visit nursing home residents, these visits are infrequent and can loneliness is often the consequence. Making matters worse, it is shown that loneliness often results in depression and weakening of the immune system. Furthermore, care home residents are often surrounded by illness. Such an environment is likely to curtail happiness and trigger severe depression. To conclude, despite the benefits of trained staff and well-equipped facilities provided by nursing homes, the drawbacks of loneliness and its concomitant depression should also be taken into consideration.
It is becoming
increasingly
common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their elderly relatives to nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
,
rather
than taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them at home. This essay will highlight
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
benefits and drawbacks of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Looking
firstly
at the positives, one significant advantage of sending elders in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
is that they are better equipped to cater to the needs of the elderly than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
For example
, most nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
do not
usually
have stairs, and for those that do, elevators need to
be installed
. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
problems, such as knee pain that tend to appear in geriatrics from complicating. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the staff of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
is
professionally
trained to handle the demands of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
aged. It is rare for members of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to possess the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

However
, sending the elderly to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
can
also
present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, the most obvious of which is the lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones around. Although it is possible for friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members to visit nursing home residents, these visits are infrequent and can loneliness is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the consequence. Making matters worse, it
is shown
that loneliness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in depression and weakening of the immune system.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home residents are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
surrounded by illness. Such an environment is likely to curtail happiness and trigger severe depression.

To conclude
, despite the benefits of trained staff and well-equipped facilities provided by nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, the drawbacks of loneliness and its concomitant depression should
also
be taken
into consideration.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts