Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 3
It is often argued that school curricula should include community work, and pupils ought to do it free of charge. This essay will show that such experience at school can be beneficial for children as they learn to be better people and more responsible citizens of their country. Undoubtedly, volunteering teaches people to empathise with others, not to be indifferent to others’ needs and lend a hand to strangers when it is needed. It is crucial that children acquire these qualities since a very early age, and schools can provide a great opportunity to do that. Looking from my vantage point, I can say that the school where I used to study made me a kinder, more considerate person when my fellow pupils and I participated in a special programme that was aimed at helping older people do housework. Many educators around the world claim that it is important to make even young children aware of the fact that they are citizens of their country, and that they have their rights and responsibilities. Community service can certainly raise this awareness by showing that even very young people can improve the world around them. For example, in my hometown in Russia, schoolchildren are encouraged to collect recyclable materials such as plastic, paper and glass, and everything that is collected by them accounts for three-quarters of all recyclables in the region. In conclusion, unpaid labour for the sake of a better neighbourhood has many advantages such as learning to be caring to others and to be in charge of what happens in one’s community. While some countries such as Russia has partly adopted community service for their curricula, more countries can incorporate this element in theirs in the future.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curricula should include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
work, and pupils ought to do it free of charge. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that such experience at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can be beneficial for children as they learn to be better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and more responsible citizens of their country.

Undoubtedly
, volunteering teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'empathise' is British English.
empathise
with others, not to be indifferent to others’ needs and lend a hand to strangers when it
is needed
. It is crucial that children acquire these qualities since a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can provide a great opportunity to do that. Looking from my vantage point, I can say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to study made me a kinder, more considerate person when my fellow pupils and I participated in a special
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
that
was aimed
at helping older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do housework.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
educators around the world claim that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
even young children aware of the fact that they are citizens of their country, and that they have their rights and responsibilities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Community
service can
certainly
raise this awareness by showing that even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the world around them.
For example
, in my hometown in Russia, schoolchildren
are encouraged
to collect recyclable materials such as plastic, paper and glass, and everything that
is collected
by them accounts for three-quarters of all recyclables in the region.

In conclusion
, unpaid
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
for the sake of a better
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages such as learning to be caring to others and to be in charge of what happens in one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries such as Russia has partly adopted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
service for their curricula, more countries can incorporate this element in theirs in the future.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts