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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.15

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 15
Welfare works are very benificial for the whole society. Some people are of the view that voluntry works for the benifit of the society such as collecting a charity, improving your surroundings or sports education to younger ones should be made a mendatory part of high school courses. In this essay we will argue why I completely disagree with this openion. It is commonly believed that voluntry services for the prosperity of community like raising funds for an organization, teaching sports to childs should be considered as a compulsory component of school education. This is because it has advantages for both the children as well as the society. The childrens learn a sense of responsibility and how does it feel to do practical work while the society gets their services. For instance, it is my own experience that while during my medical school when i raised charity for Shoukat Khanum Memorial and Cancer Hospita, i realized how difficult it is to do work in a practical field. Therefore, this type of activities helps the children and community in many different ways Having said that, however, i entirely disagree with this view that these welfare chores should be a mendatory part of high school courses. Owing to the reason, that this type of works requires alot of spare time, effort and energy and along with that they become meaningful when done with pure involvement and interests of students. Furthermore high school students have limited time which must be utilized for the much compulsory and important studies. In addition, these sort of works require require a person who has enough time and energy and has completed all other types of works related to life. For example, all over the world most of the cherities, sports teaching academies are run by people who have lived major part of thier lives and now they are having spare time which they volunterely want to be utilized for benifit of community. Thus, these type of activities is the right of students themselves and should never be made a compulsory thing. To sum up, in this essay we argued why some people think that welfare works for society should be a must part of school courses. Personally, i strongly think that it is the decision of the child him/herself that he/she wants to be involved in them or not.
Welfare works are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
benificial
for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the view that
Possible spelling mistake found.
voluntry
works for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifit
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
such as collecting a charity, improving your surroundings or sports education to younger ones should
be made
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
mendatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
courses. In this essay we will argue why I completely disagree with this
Possible spelling mistake found.
openion
.

It is
commonly
believed that
Possible spelling mistake found.
voluntry
services for the prosperity of community like raising funds for an organization, teaching sports to
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "children", the plural form of the noun 'child'?
childs
should
be considered
as a compulsory component of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has advantages for both the children
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
learn a sense of responsibility and how does it feel to do practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
their services.
For instance
, it is my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience that while during my medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
raised charity for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shoukat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khanum
Memorial and Cancer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hospita
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
realized how difficult it is to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a practical field.
Therefore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the children and community in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways

Having said that,
however
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
entirely
disagree with this view that these welfare chores should be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
mendatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
courses. Owing to the reason, that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of works requires
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, effort and energy and along with that they become meaningful when done with pure involvement and interests of students.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students have limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be utilized
for the much compulsory and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
studies.
In addition
,
Did you mean "this sort" or "these sorts"?
these sort
of works
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "requires"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'require' is not always incorrect.)
require
require a person who has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy and has completed all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of works related to life.
For example
, all over the world most of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
cherities
, sports teaching academies
are run
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are having spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which they
Possible spelling mistake found.
volunterely
want to
be utilized
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifit
of community.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of activities is the right of students themselves and should never
be made
a compulsory thing.

To sum up, in this essay we argued why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that welfare works for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
courses.
Personally
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the decision of the child him/herself that he/she wants to
be involved
in them or not.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
392 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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