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Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? v.2

Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? v. 2
It is true that most of people are ont in favour of following a healthy food program in their life. While there are several reasons to this notion, it would be possible to mitigate this issue through various solutions. In order to find effective solutions to this problem, it is necessary to understand what has brought to this trend. Firstly, people are quite busy with their jobs, as a result, they cannot spend enough time to cook their meals themselves. therefore, most of people have their meals at restaurants which are not healthy. Secondly, the effects of advertisements should be taken into account in this case because they are mesmerising individuals by promoting unhealthy junk foods, consequently, people are attracted to eat more fast foods which are mostly have adverse effects to their bodies. Finally, most of healthy foods do not have great tastes, for this reason, many people tend to prefer use more sweet and oily products that make their food delicious. Clearly, unhealthy diet is serious problem. It is therefore essential that measures should be taken to reduce this issue in our daily lives. Regarding people's habit of eating outside, the most obvious answer is informing people about the detrimental effects of outside food through awarness campaigns. In addition, government should have more surviellance on the TV adverts that promotes junk foods, as a useful action, high taxes should be exposed by authorities against fast food companies. Finally, if food industries conducted some researches to point out new and healthy tastes, people would tend to prefer consum more healthy diet. In conclusion, there is no doubt that following a heathy diet has its own difficulties. While there are several factors that motivate people to break their diet, some measures could be addressed to tackle this issue such as healthy diet campaigns, strict regulation for TV food advertising and some food research to find out new tastes.
It is true that most of
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people
are
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ont
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of following a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
program in their life. While there are several reasons to this notion, it would be possible to mitigate this issue through various solutions.

In order to find effective solutions to this problem, it is necessary to understand what has brought to this trend.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are quite busy with their jobs,
as a result
, they cannot spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to cook their meals themselves.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their meals at restaurants which are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
Secondly
, the effects of advertisements should
be taken
into account
in this case
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
Possible spelling mistake. 'mesmerising' is British English.
mesmerising
individuals by promoting unhealthy junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
to eat more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which are
mostly
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
adverse effects to their bodies.
Finally
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
do not have great tastes,
for this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to prefer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more sweet and oily products that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
delicious.

Clearly
, unhealthy diet is serious problem. It is
therefore
essential that measures should
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this issue in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Regarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's habit of eating outside, the most obvious answer is informing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the detrimental effects of outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
through
Possible spelling mistake found.
awarness
campaigns.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have more
Possible spelling mistake found.
surviellance
on the TV adverts that promotes junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, as a useful action, high taxes should
be exposed
by authorities against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Finally
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industries conducted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researches to point out new and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
tastes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would tend to prefer
Possible spelling mistake found.
consum
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet.

In conclusion
, there is no doubt that following a
Possible spelling mistake found.
heathy
diet has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
difficulties. While there are several factors that motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to break their diet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures could
be addressed
to tackle this issue such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet campaigns, strict regulation for TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
advertising and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "foods"?
food
research to find out new tastes.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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