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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give re v.12

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). Give re v. 12
Nowadays, after-school activities are more becoming a source of debate amongst educationalists. Although there is not a consensus on doing honorary services as a mandatory part of high school, it is believed that any sort of such a charitable contribution to communities not only is useful for society but it efficiently also benefits student in matter of acquirement of skills and development of self-confidence. Earlier exposure to practical activities and playing role in the society, during the high school, helps our children to develop their abilities, in addition to progress their academic education. Additionally, Self- respect is instilled to children’s mind and also a sense of importance are imparted to them simply through voluntary collaboration with school’s or even city’s authorities in diverse affairs including assisting their classmates for acquisition of any language or sport, or more importantly, developing urban green spaces and etc. As a result, doing such these free of charge services not only lead students to actualize their potentialities and foster their skills but amazingly also pave the way for raising their employability in the future. Furthermore, it should be noted that adolescents are highly vulnerable with respect to the negative social teachings and these positives activities fully occupy their spare time in a utilitarian and constructive way and also avoid them perpetrating some silly actions. On the other hand, every compulsory works, regardless of whether it is advantageous or not, may ironically have destructive impacts on individuals. Therefore, such charitable collaborations will be widely acceptable by society, if it is optional. However, such a generous task but mandatory, alters students’ eagerness to unwillingness. Take, a student passing a weary educating day at school and now he is obligated to work for a charity in his free time, for example. How enormously much would be loathsome this duty? Conspicuously, it adversely affects their views on any charitable actions. To sum up, serving in a charity as after-school occupations which harness skills and time of teenagers in a best way seems worthwhile; nonetheless, it needs still to be optional part of school.
Nowadays, after-school activities are more becoming a source of debate amongst educationalists. Although there is not a consensus on doing honorary services as a mandatory part of high
school
, it
is believed
that any sort of such a charitable contribution to communities not
only
is useful for society
but
it
efficiently
also
benefits
student
in matter of acquirement of
skills
and development of self-confidence.

Earlier exposure to practical activities and playing role in the society, during the high
school
,
helps
our children to develop their abilities,
in addition
to progress their academic education.
Additionally
, Self- respect
is instilled
to children’s mind and
also
a sense of importance
are imparted
to them
simply
through voluntary collaboration with
school’s
or even city’s authorities in diverse affairs including assisting their classmates for acquisition of any language or sport, or more
importantly
, developing urban green spaces
and etc
.
As a result
, doing such these free of charge services not
only
lead
students
to actualize their potentialities and foster their
skills
but
amazingly
also
pave the way for raising their employability in the future.
Furthermore
, it should
be noted
that adolescents are
highly
vulnerable with respect to the
negative
social teachings and these positives activities
fully
occupy their spare time in a utilitarian and constructive way and
also
avoid them perpetrating
some
silly actions.

On the other hand
, every compulsory works, regardless of whether it is advantageous or not, may
ironically
have destructive impacts on individuals.
Therefore
, such charitable collaborations will be
widely
acceptable by society, if it is optional.
However
, such a generous task
but
mandatory, alters
students’
eagerness to unwillingness. Take, a
student
passing a weary educating day at
school
and
now
he
is obligated
to work for a charity in his free time,
for example
. How
enormously
much would be loathsome this duty?
Conspicuously
, it
adversely
affects their views on any charitable actions.

To sum up, serving in a charity as after-school occupations which harness
skills
and time of
teenagers
in
a
best way seems worthwhile; nonetheless, it needs
still
to be optional part of
school
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). Give re v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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