Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

medical electronic records are more important than paper records. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? v.2

medical electronic records are more important than paper records. with this point of view? v. 2
Nobody can deny the fact and the truth that technology plays a vitally important role in every person' s life, and it is considered quite critical and crucial. Moreover, it is a reality worldwide known that technology is a key factor that formulates the lifespan of all human beings. Based on all the conducted statistics, research and studies, one states that storing patient' s medical records in electronic databases has several advantages over traditional paper-based records. heading out of all my own experiences and observations, I totally agree with this statement for so many varied and different reasons. First, medical electronic records are more valuable than paper records by reducing the costs of the store. My own experience is a compelling example of this. several years ago, when I was a manager in a local hospital, we save not only a lot of money by using electronic records but also a lot of time. Secondly, medical e-records are more important because they prevent errors even though the poor handwriting may do error when the staff enters the data into the system. A small example may give light to this point. For instance, two years ago, my brother got a job as medical assistance. He has done many error typing but the system always gave him an alert red flag and corrected the error automatically. Finally, medical e-records are more useful than traditional records. electronic records aid research in many ways such as making the research possible to gather large amounts of data and to draw out the needed information. heading out of all the previously mentioned discussions, I can sum up and conclude that the medical electronic records take precedence over the paper records because e-records are more important and due to the fact that e-records are more useful as well as more valuable.
Nobody can deny the fact and the truth that technology plays a
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in every
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s life, and it
is considered
quite critical and crucial.
Moreover
, it is a reality worldwide known that technology is a key factor that formulates the lifespan of all human beings. Based on all the conducted statistics, research and studies, one states that storing
Possible spelling mistake found.
patient&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
databases has several advantages over traditional paper-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
heading
out of all my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experiences and observations, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
varied and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
are more valuable than paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
by reducing the costs of the store. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is a compelling example of this.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
several
years ago, when I was a manager in a local hospital, we save not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
e-records are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
errors
even though
the poor handwriting may do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
error
when the staff enters the data into the system. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
example may give light to this point.
For instance
, two years ago, my brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a job as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
assistance. He has done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
error
typing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the system always gave him an alert red flag and corrected the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
error
automatically
.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
e-records are more useful than traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
aid research in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways such as making the research possible to gather large amounts of data and to draw out the needed information.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
heading
out of all the previously mentioned discussions, I can sum up and conclude that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
take precedence over the paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
e-records are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and due to the fact that e-records are more useful
as well
as more valuable.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay medical electronic records are more important than paper records. with this point of view? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts