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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.7

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 7
It is argued that high school students should be involved in unpaid community services as a compulsory part of high school programs. I personally believe that sending students to community services is a good idea to gather experiences by different activities and it should provide them lots of valuable skills. To begin with, compulsory unpaid community services encouraged students to do more creative works. When students do different voluntary works, it should increase their experiences. For instance, scouting assist students to gather experiences. Compulsory unpaid activities not only be the asset on their CV but also increases their employability. If students do not have practical knowledge then they do not respect any works and cannot realize the difficulty to earn money. Hence, unpaid services as a compulsory part is required to improve experiences. Furthermore, by doing voluntary work students can learn how to communicate with others and work in a team. Working with a group or team increase the skills to manage time, organizing something, decision making and so on. For example, school club can give a chance to work in a team and do different works. After to joining a school club students can get a chance to work for their society such as they can campaign in their locality about environment pollution. Therefore, during the campaign students also increase their skills to reduce several pollutions. To sum up, unpaid community activities should be effective when teaches as a compulsory part in the schools or colleges. I think that it is a very good idea and hope this program will be put into action for high schools shortly.
It
is argued
that high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be involved
in unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
part of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
programs. I
personally
believe that sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to gather experiences by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities and it should provide them lots of valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to do more creative works. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
voluntary works, it should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
their experiences.
For instance
, scouting assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to gather experiences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Compulsory
unpaid activities not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be the asset on their CV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
their employability. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not have practical knowledge then they do not respect any works and cannot realize the difficulty to earn money.
Hence
, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
part
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
experiences.

Furthermore
, by doing voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn how to communicate with others and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a team. Working with a group or team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to manage time, organizing something,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
club can give a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a team and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
works. After to joining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
club
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for their society such as they can campaign in their locality about environment pollution.
Therefore
, during the campaign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
several pollutions.

To sum up, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
activities should be effective when teaches as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
part in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
or colleges. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and hope this program will
be put
into action for high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
shortly.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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