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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (<em>for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children</em>). v.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (<em>for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children</em>). v. 5
One of the most controversial issues today relates to whether the high school should include the unpaid community service compulsorily as part of the programmes. Many parents are of the opinion that it will be beneficial to the students when they work for a charity and improving the neighbourhood, just to name some examples. Personally, I am convinced that community service should be part of high school programmes for several reasons. There are a handful of advantages that community service brings to the youngsters. To begin, it helps the teenagers to develop an excellent interpersonal skill. Admittedly, it is more valuable to do the unpaid social work than staying at home playing with electronic devices. It provides teenagers with an avenue to socialise with others, encourage them to exchange their thoughts with people of the same interest. It is indirectly helping them to develop the crucial socialising skill which plays an indispensable role in their studies and their prospective job. They will be benefited by learning how to communicate with people around us and respect other's opinions. In short, community service will benefit the students by giving them an opportunity to meet new friends and thus widen their friend cycle. Apart from that, teenagers will be more patient and have higher endurance after working for the community service. To illustrate, when they teach the younger children about sports, they are actually learning the value of being more patient which cannot be learnt from textbooks. To pick up this good value, it can only be acquired through practising. On the other hand, teaching children about sports is proven to be an effective way of destressing. In the twenty-first century, even citizen including student is becoming more stressful than in the past. Thus, they can keep their mind off from their studies when doing something not related to their academic studies like community service. To put in a nutshell, community service can educate the youngsters to be more patient which is essential in dealing with troubles. In conclusion, I think that community service should be implemented in the high school programmes as there are numerous advantages of carrying out community service. Our nation will continue to prosper and flourish if there are more well-educated individuals being raised.
One of the most controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to whether the high school should include the unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
compulsorily
as part of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents are of the opinion that it will be beneficial to the students when they work for a charity and improving the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples.
Personally
, I
am convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
should be part of high school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for several reasons.

There are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "handfuls", "handsful"?
handful
of advantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
brings to the youngsters. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to develop an excellent interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Admittedly
, it is more valuable to do the unpaid social work than staying at home playing with electronic devices. It provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
with an avenue to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with others, encourage them to exchange their thoughts with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the same interest. It is
indirectly
helping them to develop the crucial
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
which plays an indispensable role in their studies and their prospective job. They will
be benefited
by learning how to communicate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around us and respect other's opinions. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
will benefit the students by giving them an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends and
thus
widen their friend cycle.

Apart from that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
will be more patient and have higher endurance after working for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. To illustrate, when they teach the younger children about sports, they are actually learning the value of being more patient which cannot be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from textbooks. To pick up this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
value, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be acquired
through
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
.
On the other hand
, teaching children about sports
is proven
to be an effective way of
Possible spelling mistake found.
destressing
. In the twenty-
first
century, even citizen including student is becoming more stressful than in the past.
Thus
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their mind off from their studies when doing something not related to their academic studies like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. To put in a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
can educate the youngsters to be more patient which is essential in dealing with troubles.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
should
be implemented
in the high school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
as there are numerous advantages of carrying out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. Our nation will continue to prosper and flourish if there are more well-educated individuals
being raised
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (<em>for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children</em>). v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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