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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 4
Nowadays, many high schools make community service an optional element of students’ curriculums. However, whereas many people think that this unpaid service should be a mandatory part of the syllabus, I would argue that, while it is helpful, it should remain the students’ choice. To begin with, one of the significant benefits of the community service for high school students is that such work prepares them for the world outside of education. This is because students who have no awareness of what the working world is like may be overwhelmed when it finally comes around. For instance, a student who has experience of caring for the aged which is one of the typical community service task will be more able to adapt to the needs of elderly customers in a working role than who does not. Thus, these services make students more confident about life after school. Nevertheless, it is vital that the community service be the sole choice of the student as making such work compulsory for school may breed resentment towards the work. The reason for this is that people are often naturally averse to doing anything which seems imposed upon them, especially without reward. Consequently, this resentment may then lead to poor quality of work which effects both the student and the community itself. In contrast, if the student himself choose these services for no pay, this is more likely bring feeling of self-worth and satisfaction, contributing better work. In conclusion, although offering unpaid community services to high school students may help them transition into the adult world, I believe that these should not be necessary component of their programs as this may foster negativity towards work.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
an optional element of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
curriculums.
However
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
should be a mandatory part of the syllabus, I would argue that, while it is helpful, it should remain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
choice.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the significant benefits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
for high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
prepares them for the world outside of education. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have no awareness of what the working world is like may
be overwhelmed
when it
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
around.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who has experience of caring for the aged which is one of the typical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
task will be more able to adapt to the needs of elderly customers in a working role than who does not.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more confident about life after school.

Nevertheless
, it is vital that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
be the sole choice of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
as making such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
compulsory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may breed resentment towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
The reason for this is
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
naturally
averse to doing anything which seems imposed upon them,
especially
without reward.
Consequently
, this resentment may then lead to poor quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which effects both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
itself.
In contrast
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
himself choose these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for no pay, this is more likely bring feeling of self-worth and satisfaction, contributing better work.

In conclusion
, although offering unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them transition into the adult world, I believe that these should not be necessary component of their programs as this may foster negativity towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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