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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. v.42

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. v. 42
It is widely believed that studying a foreign language in the first year of school is more effective than in secondary school for children. Drawbacks and benefits of this topic will be covered in this essay. On the one hand, pupils studying only three or four years in the school even at that moment do not properly concentrate on the lessons. It could be difficult to compel children to learn something else besides their curriculum subjects. For instance, my little sister always wants to play, even if there are loose ends. In addition, students of a primary school firstly should learn the fundamentals of exact science such as mathematics and physics. Otherwise, they might not understand them later. Furthermore, if a student does not know his native language perfectly, it is useless to learn a foreign dialect for him. On the other hand, this is a fact that children, who are approximately between five and nine years, have the capacity to remember things twice as fast and effectively than people from other age groups. For example, when I was in the third-fifth grades, I used to memorise new words very quickly and for a long period.  However, now I cannot even learn many new phrases. Secondly, studying a foreign language is very helpful. Students can understand the expression, lifestyle and culture of a different country and is helpful for enhancing their perspectives. English is an international language on which over one billion of people are communicating. Hence, being able to learn a second language will give competitive advantages for the children. To sum up, the minor disadvantages will never prevent us from concluding that knowing foreign phrases will be never excessive. In future knowing one more language might be very prestigious.
It is
widely
believed that studying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the
first
year of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is more effective than in secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for children. Drawbacks and benefits of this topic will
be covered
in this essay.

On the one hand, pupils studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three or four years in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
even at that moment do not
properly
concentrate on the lessons. It could be difficult to compel children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
something else
besides
their curriculum subjects.
For instance
, my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
sister always wants to play, even if there are loose ends.
In addition
, students of a primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
firstly
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the fundamentals of exact science such as mathematics and physics.
Otherwise
, they might not understand them later.
Furthermore
, if a student does not know his native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
perfectly
, it is useless to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
dialect for him.

On the other hand
, this is a fact that children, who are approximately between five and nine years, have the capacity to remember things twice as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
effectively
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from other age groups.
For example
, when I was in the third-fifth grades, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorise' is British English.
memorise
new words
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
and for a long period.  
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I cannot even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new phrases.
Secondly
, studying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful. Students can understand the expression, lifestyle and culture of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country and is helpful for enhancing their perspectives. English is an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
on which over one billion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are communicating.
Hence
, being able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will give competitive advantages for the children.

To sum up, the minor disadvantages will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
us from concluding that knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
phrases will be never excessive. In future knowing one more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prestigious.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. v. 42

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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