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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.8

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 8
There are people who think that unpaid community service should be obliged for high school students. I totally agree with this, because helping as a volunteer can learn, a student useful skill and it can also bring great effort to a community. Firstly, working as a volunteer can learn students skills they will not learn at school. Useful skills, such as caring for the elderly, cleaning community buildings or serving the people in need are not usually part of a high school curriculum. Although these skills do not seem immediately necessary to get high scores, they will attribute to the future of students. For instance, they might once be part of a small community and knowing already how to serve a community will give them a headstart. Furthermore, students taking part in ordinary daily community life can bring a great effort into it. Instead of just hanging around the campus, partying and chilling out with other students, a sort of "community duty" can help them come out of their comfort zone and serve the place they live in. For example, lots of community service in the Netherlands always are in great need of volunteers. Sometimes they even need to cancel events or services because of the shortage of people. In conclusion, making unpaid community service a compulsory part of high school can help both the students as the community. I strongly believe that this may serve students, because they gain new skills that they will not learn at school and it may serve the community by bringing lots of workforces to help them with their work.
There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
should
be obliged
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
helping as a volunteer can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and it can
also
bring great effort to a community.

Firstly
, working as a volunteer can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
they will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, such as caring for the elderly, cleaning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
buildings or serving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in need are not
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum. Although these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
do not seem immediately necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
scores, they will attribute to the future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
, they might once be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and knowing already how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serve
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
will give them a
Possible spelling mistake found.
headstart
.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in ordinary daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
life can bring a great effort into it.
Instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
hanging around the campus, partying and chilling out with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, a sort of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
community duty
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of their comfort zone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serve
the place they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
For example
, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
in the Netherlands
The adverb 'always' usually goes after the verb 'are'.
always are
in great need of volunteers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they even need to cancel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the shortage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, making unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
a compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. I
strongly
believe that this may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they gain new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that they will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and it may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
by bringing lots of
Possible spelling mistake found.
workforces
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them with their work.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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