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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (<em>for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children</em>). v.4

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (<em>for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children</em>). v. 4
Nowadays, many people held the theory that non-profit organisation services should be implemented with secondary schools systems. While others believe that it will be hard and much costly for both school teachers and students. Both sides will be analysed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. According to one camp, emerging non-profit services to secondary schools will improve students’ personalities and help to improve their skill in reacting with the community services. Moreover, working with poverty and homeless will add more values to schools programmes, and more variety the school subjects. This will be a good way of introducing skilled and smart individuals to the community. In addition, when primary schools students deal with sick people or poor people, they will have a clue about how to deal with them in the future. For instance, in Asia, particularly in China and Korea, they use this way to improve high schools students’ skills. According to the other camp, firstly, employing charity tasks with secondary schools will make it more difficult for teachers and students to keep their concentration with the regular school programmes. Secondly, most parents will not feel safe about it because dealing with patients in hospitals and streets’ homeless people demand more wise individuals to protect themselves from various viruses. Thirdly, generally, non-profit and charity organisations are doing great jobs, and merely more help and support from the governments will be enough. Also, we have to take into consideration that these services don’t need more individuals; they need more aids. In conclusion, after hashing out the pros and cons of these two points of view, I completely disagree with this statement.
Nowadays,
many
people
held the theory that non-profit
organisation
services
should
be implemented
with secondary
schools
systems. While others believe that it will be
hard
and much costly for both
school
teachers and
students
. Both sides will be
analysed
before
a reasoned conclusion
is drawn
.

According to one camp, emerging non-profit
services
to secondary
schools
will
improve
students’
personalities and
help
to
improve
their
skill
in reacting with the community
services
.
Moreover
, working with poverty and homeless will
add
more values to
schools
programmes
, and more variety the
school
subjects. This will be a
good
way of introducing skilled and smart individuals to the community.

In addition
, when primary
schools
students
deal with sick
people
or poor
people
, they will have a clue about how to deal with them in the future.
For instance
, in Asia,
particularly
in China and Korea, they
use
this way to
improve
high
schools
students’
skills
.

According to the other camp,
firstly
, employing charity tasks with secondary
schools
will
make
it more difficult for teachers and
students
to
keep
their concentration with the regular
school
programmes
.
Secondly
, most parents will not feel safe about it
because
dealing with patients in hospitals and streets’ homeless
people
demand more wise individuals to protect themselves from various viruses.
Thirdly
,
generally
, non-profit and charity
organisations
are doing great jobs, and
merely
more
help
and support from the
governments
will be
enough
.
Also
, we
have to
take into consideration that these
services
don’t need more individuals; they need more aids.

In conclusion
, after hashing out the pros and cons of these two points of view, I completely disagree with this statement.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (<em>for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children</em>). v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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