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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (<em>for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children</em>). v.3

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (<em>for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children</em>). v. 3
What is the likely outcome, if unpaid community services make mandatory part of the high school programme? To comment on this subject, I am including a study, which collected statistical data taken from polls conducted, recently, among diverse segments of society. The majority of participants supported the idea, whereas others disagreed with the idea. In subsequent paragraphs, I will discuss the opinion expressed by participants of study with a personal choice of aligning myself with the majority of the society. According to the survey, there should be no social unpaid work because such an activity will hinder student’s studies. The students will have to take time out of studies diluting concentration. In addition, if social community services are compulsory, then a child might become a victim of bad society trends, especially in their teenage time. The study shows that those participants who had the aforementioned views were in limited number. Some of these opponents presented their ideas logically whereas some others were impulsive and rigid followers of social taboos. On the other hand, a large majority of those interviewed agreed with the idea, viz. unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. They explained that poor and needy families - which are a part of our society - will be benefitted by this idea. Such a programme will help to build a healthy society. I am strongly of the view that, the social unpaid work should be made a mandatory part of the high school programme.
What is the likely outcome, if unpaid community services
make
mandatory
part
of the high school
programme
? To comment on this subject, I am including a
study
, which collected statistical data taken from polls conducted, recently, among diverse segments of society. The majority of participants supported the
idea
, whereas others disagreed with the
idea
. In subsequent paragraphs, I will discuss the opinion expressed by participants of
study
with a personal choice of aligning myself with the majority of the society.

According to the survey, there should be no
social
unpaid work
because
such an activity will hinder student’s
studies
. The students will
have to
take time out of
studies
diluting concentration.
In addition
, if
social
community services are compulsory, then a child might become a victim of
bad
society trends,
especially
in their teenage time. The
study
shows
that those participants who had the aforementioned views were in limited number.
Some
of these opponents presented their
ideas
logically
whereas
some
others were impulsive and rigid followers of
social
taboos.

On the other hand
, a large majority of those interviewed
agreed
with the
idea
, viz. unpaid community services should be a compulsory
part
of high school
programmes
. They
explained
that poor and needy families
-
which are a
part
of our society
-
will be
benefitted
by this
idea
. Such a
programme
will
help
to build a healthy society.

I am
strongly
of the view that, the
social
unpaid work should
be made
a mandatory
part
of the high school
programme
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (<em>for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children</em>). v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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