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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (<em>for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children</em>). v.2

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (<em>for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children</em>). v. 2
People have divergent attitudes towards the unpaid community services. Certain people strongly argue that these types of services should be included in high school education such as charity activities, teaching other children and activities for society. Even though it has some positives, it should not be included in the high school education due to various reasons. Unpaid community services should not be mandatory in the high school programmes. First and foremost, students have a lot of subjects to study within a limited period of time and that would become even harder in case the community programmes are made compulsory for them. For example, in India, most of the schools have added more subjects recently in the curriculum of high schools.   Besides, if they are to perform such community activities, they would definitely face challenges in the academic area and sometimes, they may fail in the examinations. Moreover, during this period of time, most of the students are not mature enough. Since they are not capable of handling service programmes effectively, they may feel difficulties and dissatisfied while implementing such activities among others. In addition, it would develop a negative attitude towards the unpaid community services from the tender age. Consequently, they may lose interest in doing those kinds of services later on. However, one should not ignore the fact that if community services become a part of high school education, everyone gets a chance to work for society. Thus, these programmes instil moral and ethical values in the mind of children which is degenerating today’s generation enormously. Nevertheless, I think that students should be more focused on education and should not be forced to do something that might detract them from their main target and task. To conclude, despite some advantages, unpaid community services should not be promoted in the early stages of education.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have divergent attitudes towards the unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. Certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
strongly
argue that these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should
be included
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
such as charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, teaching other children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for society.
Even though
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
positives, it should not
be included
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
due to various reasons.

Unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should not be mandatory in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
First
and foremost, students have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
subjects to study within a limited period of time and that would become even harder in case the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are made
compulsory for them.
For example
, in India, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
more subjects recently in the curriculum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Besides
, if they are to perform such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they would definitely face challenges in the academic area and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, they may fail in the examinations.

Moreover
, during this period of time, most of the students are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. Since they are not capable of handling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
effectively
, they may feel difficulties and dissatisfied while implementing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
among others.
In addition
, it would develop a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude towards the unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
from the tender age.
Consequently
, they may lose interest in doing those kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
later on.

However
, one should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the fact that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
become a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a chance to work for society.
Thus
, these
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
moral and ethical values in the mind of children which is degenerating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation
enormously
.
Nevertheless
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that students should be more focused on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and should not
be forced
to do something that might detract them from their main target and task.

To conclude
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should not
be promoted
in the early stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (<em>for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children</em>). v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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