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Some people believe that universities should only accept students with high marks. Others think that students of all ages and ability levels should be able to attend universities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that universities should only accept students with high marks. Others think that students of all ages and ability levels should be able to attend universities. v. 2
Nowadays, while education has a vital role in the society, there is a controversial debate regarding whether universities should accept only top talented ones or widen their demographic of students. The reasoning behind both perspectives will be discussed in this essay, and I will state my perspective in the conclusion. There are several convincing reasons why restrictions on admitted students into universities are reasonable. Firstly, there are a lot of jobs which do not require any university certificate, and society will have big challenges if major of youngsters opt to go to university instead of learning a profession practically. Authorities in Iran, as an example, face a big proportion of unemployed university graduates due to the high ratio of young people with university degrees. Secondly, educations these days is not cheap, and governments allocate substantial funds to support educational systems, so this investment should be spent wisely by not risking on accepting every applicant. However, critics mentioned that only accepting high-mark students into universities is not a logical practice. They mentioned that society will confront severe challenges if there are only limited graduates. Not only firms should pay high salaries to graduates, but also there might be a need to motivate foreign graduates into the countries to fulfill jobs. More importantly, there are other factors besides high-marks, such as hard-working and persistence, which contribute to one' s success. There are many instances, that people in unusual ages or ability, become successful in their fields. In conclusion, I believe that it seems simplistic that university should be limited to only top-marked students, and people with different ages and potential should be allowed to enter universities.
Nowadays, while education has a vital role in the society, there is a controversial debate regarding whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
top talented ones or widen their demographic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The reasoning behind both perspectives will
be discussed
in this essay, and I will state my perspective in the conclusion.

There are several convincing reasons why restrictions on admitted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are reasonable.
Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
jobs which do not require any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
certificate, and society will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
challenges if major of youngsters opt to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
instead
of learning a profession
practically
. Authorities in Iran, as an example, face a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
proportion of unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
due to the high ratio of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degrees.
Secondly
, educations these days is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
allocate substantial funds to support educational systems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this investment should
be spent
wisely
by not risking on accepting every applicant.

However
, critics mentioned that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
accepting high-mark
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is not a logical practice. They mentioned that society will confront severe challenges if there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
. Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
firms should pay high salaries to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there might be a need to motivate foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
into the countries to fulfill jobs. More
importantly
, there are other factors
besides
high-marks, such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working and persistence, which contribute to
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s success. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
instances, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in unusual ages or ability, become successful in their fields.

In conclusion
, I believe that it seems simplistic that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should
be limited
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
top-marked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages and potential should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some people believe that universities should only accept students with high marks. Others think that students of all ages and ability levels should be able to attend universities. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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